As I was driving the twins home from school on Friday something hit me. Just out of the blue, I started to full on cry. The kind of crying that I couldn’t do silently. The kind I couldn’t hide. The kind where I felt it deep down in the pit of my stomach. I tried […]
Widowed Memories
Signs From Nashville
Last weekend I went to Nashville for a belated birthday trip. One of my best friends from college and I flew in to meet there. The trip was for us, but I knew it would bear reminders of Tony at every turn. I enjoy some country music and prefer the 90’s era from my high […]
Restoration and Renewal
I don’t think there’s been a time in my life when I’ve been so caught up in so many projects simultaneously and I no longer seem to have a measure of time. It was a Facebook Memory from my archives that made me realize that it was earlier this week that I’d moved to this […]
Drifting Gloomily Through Time
I’ve had yet another difficult week (2024’s theme really does seem to be “personally difficult things”). My mom has what we think is a sciatica flair up. While she claims she’s not like my dad in being stubborn, she very much IS. She refused to actually go to the doctor about it, putting me in […]
I Was Slain
by Joe Black The movie Meet Joe Black was made in the 90’s when it’s star, Brad Pitt, was only 34 years old. I’d seen the film once, but clearly did not recognize the deeper meanings. This time I was overcome by its layers of goodness. Why would an old film affect me so strongly? […]
Birthday Grief
Each year Tony’s birthday seems to hit me differently. Some people say the first year after losing someone is a fog. I think it only looks that way in hindsight. The first year is an onslaught of pain; around every corner is a reminder, each turn of the calendar is a new first without. Looking […]
The Wonder of a Camp for Widowed People
Images of Past and Future Dear Widowed Peeps! Wednesday snuck up on me, so I am reposting a blog about attending my first Camp Widow, in correlation with a Camp Widow happening in this very moment, and throughout the weekend, in Toronto, Canada. The Camp Widow experience features the essence of the support offered to […]
The Day of the Dead
November 1st is a day when a number of different cultures honor their dear, departed loved ones. The most widely known of these celebrations occurs in Mexico and is called El Dia de Los Muertos — The Day of the Dead. Similar celebrations occur during the first few days of November in Guatemala, El Salvador, […]
Exploring What Might Help
Today I wish to offer three simple tools to help those of us who are having an especially “off” day. Three fresh ideas or strategies for your back pocket at the ready in advance of your need. Difficult days arrive out of nowhere for new widowed people, or long-time widowed people. […]
Bittersweet Reminiscence
Reminiscing is a blessing and a curse. The number of people who will ever know Tony is finite and that number will never be larger than it is today. I enjoy recounting stories with those who knew him well because we are usually sharing the memory. Even when I’m given the space, it’s harder to […]
As Time Marches On
Every now and then I’ll think about all the things in the world that have transpired since Mario made his exit from this life, big things and small. Part of his depression always included all the bad stuff happening in the world that an individual has little control over. No amount of trying to convince […]
Nervous Eating
Every day, I see small yellow and red leaves falling in the hundreds, relentless falling leaves coloring the lawn. The geese are gathering. Were they drawn together by chance to form the V-formations cutting across the Fall sky? Occasionally, I will hear them honking off in the distance. Robyn was first to spot the small, […]