I hope you all got through the Christmas holiday alright. I know this time of year can be especially difficult for many, whether your loss occured last week, or several years ago. The shadow of that loss can dim even the brightest of holiday lights.
On Christmas Eve morning, I spent some time on the private sites established just for the widowed and I can attest to the vast number of people who struggle this time of year during the longer and in most locales, colder nights when many recall the lives they used to live and how those holidays, and their lives, can never be the same. The best we can do is to try to create a new reality, but that is no easy task at any age.
Now we take a deep breath and as one poster on a grief-site proclaimed with great relief, “One more to go!”, that of course, being the New Year Holiday. But, there will be other looming dates of significance that might set us back a bit, and it’s helpful to have a coping stragegy in place, and those will change with time, as well. Judging from those posts on some grief-coping sites that I visit daily, everyone has their own method of getting through.
The other day I received an e-mail from Hay House, an inspirational publishing house to which I subscribe. The sender was sharing that when they were in need of guidance during challenging times they consulted with what he referred to as his Spiritual Board of Directors, headed by two deceased family members that he greatly admired.
It reminded me of something I did at at a time when I needed the help and guidance from those who know, or in these cases knew, me best while embracing and emulating the distinctive qualities of my dearly departed.
I’d been sitting in the sparsely populated Albany Airport in New York, returning from attending my mother’s memorial service in June. Staring across to a row of empty seats outside my flight’s gate, I imagined that all six of my late family members were sitting there holding up numbers like judges do at athletic events. They offered their numerical assessments on how I was handling “things” and personal matters. Their scores varied greatly, of course!
Like that e-mail sender from Hay House, I have my own Spiritual Board of Directors, or as I call mine, Spirit Team Six. I often call on the strengths possessed by each individual family member. In doing so, I preserve their memories and honor their lives so they are still relevant, important and alive to myself and others.
My youngest sibling Matt’s quirky and absurd sense of humor still helps me to laugh. He was a great audience for my antics and foibles. My sister was a friend to all and a good listener. I admired her sense of adventure and ability to have fun. She and I were often in trouble for our penchant for laughing too hard and too long at the wrong time. I really miss that. My nephew Zac was also good for a laugh and loved to think and live large. My dad instilled in me my love for animals and athletics, and of course, my mom continues to guide me with her sharp perception of people and situations. She instilled in me the ability to make good choices for a strong future, and build resilience. She also had a flair for all things financial and real estate that helps me thrive now.
And then there is my late husband, Rich. I admire in him for his true service to others, and his country, and his generous and genuine spirit. He could make a trip to the grocery store a fun adventure and was one of my greatest supporters. As I remind others, we didn’t just lose a spouse, we lost our best friend.
Each member of my Spirit Team Six continues to remind me to live my best life to the best of my ability at any given moment in time, a helpful coping strategy. That, and of course the presence of my loyal and loving dogs.
As this is my last post of 2024, I thank Soaring Spirits for “hosting” me each Saturday and allowing me to be an unofficial ambassador fot the Widowed Community and those who love them on a large scale. For the “Seven Bloggers” of Widow’s Voice, I know that delivering a weekly post is not always easy. Please read and support my blogging colleagues for continually sharing their unique and personal widowed experiences with so many.
I’m very happy to announce that my new author’s website is now up and running. Please check it out and subscribe to my Newsletter, Ruff Around the Sedges: The Adventures of a Devoted Dog-writer and Her Mutt-ley Crew. https://lisabegin-kruysmanauthor.com/
I will not bombard your in-box, promise!
Happy New Starts and of course and those inevitable Resetting Stops, along the way. “See” you in 2025.
