This past weekend the twins and I had the privilege of being part of my cousin’s wedding. She’s one of my best friends and my soul sister. I found that weddings have been particularly hard since Erik’s passing. It’s always a harsh reminder that the person we have lost is not there with us. But […]
Widowed by Suicide
Putting You to Rest
A repost! Lately, time has seemed to tick by so fast, mostly during these ‘ber’ months. Something this past weekend made me realize how quickly the twins are growing up and how it just feels like each month is slipping away, yet my mind still takes me back to those early months after Erik passed. […]
Where is your Dad?
A repost! Today during school pickup a little girl from the twins’ class ran up to me and started pulling at my jacket. As I was in the middle of hugging Charlotte, I didn’t pay her much attention. She kept pulling on my jacket as persistent as ever. So I looked down at her smiled […]
Favorites Saved
I let go of something this week. I removed Tony from my ‘Favorites’ list in my contacts. For three years, every time I opened my phone to make a call he sat at the top of that list. A reminder that no matter the news, I could not share it with him. It was time […]
Sea of Serendipity
Whew! It has been a hectic few weeks. I feel like I’m always in survival go-go-go mode where I’m just going through the motions of doing things without really being fully present in what I’m doing. I guess it comes with the territory of being a solo parent. Lately, I’ve been trying to remind myself […]
A Heart for a Smile
My parents received an extended family photo session for Christmas. The plan was to have the pictures taken this spring. The session would include my parents, my brother and his family, and my boys and me. However, finding a spring date that aligned with all five grandkids extra-curricular activities was not easy. Admittedly, my kids’ […]
A Heavy Heart
A repost! As I looked at the date today I couldn’t believe that it was only the second Tuesday of 2024. We are barely one week into this new year and it seems as if so much has happened. Within the past two days, I have had two friends pass back to back. Then to […]
Backyard Campout
Saturday, I hosted a BBQ backyard campout with my neighborhood crew for the third anniversary of Tony’s death. We gathered in the afternoon and six family’s setup tents to spend the night. Eighteen kids between the ages of 15 and 6 played together outside for hours. An equal number of adults converged on the patio. Yep, […]
Fate
I was a rather odd kid in that, from a very early age, I was fascinated by the past. In particular, the ancient past. I’m sure I have my dad to thank for sparking my interest by telling me all about geology and astronomy when I was still very small. These were subjects he was […]
Memories Missed
This past weekend some of my in-laws visited; Erik’s dad, his stepmom, and his older brother. It’s always great to have them visit and the twins always love being around them. While they were only here for a short while we made the most of it. As a solo mom, planning anything even just for […]
No Time
As I started to get ready for bed tonight, I realized it was Monday and I haven’t yet written anything. Our days feel so packed right now I don’t find myself looking too far forward. Which is probably why I am squeezing these posts out so late. Just under the chaos of everything, I know […]
The Little Things
A repost! I miss the little things. The things not many people talk about in loss. I don’t just miss my person on holidays, anniversaries, or milestones, but all those in between days. All the in-between minutes and seconds and moments. Something as simple as how he used to hug me from behind as I […]