Just like clockwork, another July rolls around. As each year passes, the important dates seem to hold more value as we get further from when Erik was here. July holds so much significance for us. July 2nd of the year Erik passed was supposed to be our “Christmas in July” vow renewal. These important dates […]
Widowed by Suicide
Fireworks
This is the fourth, 4th of July we’ve celebrated without Tony. It doesn’t feel as devastating as it did the first few years. While it doesn’t hurt like it did in the beginning, I still find myself thinking about him throughout the holiday. On the 4th, our youngest was recovering from a cold so we […]
Wanderlust
Last week the twins and I returned from my first solo flight with them since Erik’s passing. I had been anticipating this flight for quite some time. All the worries that come with being a solo parent at home seemed so trivial compared to all the worries I had about traveling alone with them. How […]
Peaceful
Outside of Father’s Day a few weeks ago, I have been feeling relatively at peace. There are likely a few reasons for that feeling. The madness of the last school year is in the rearview mirror. Kid sports have winded down for a few weeks. Those two things have allowed me to take a deep […]
The Solo Road
A repost! Tune in next week when we are back from our family vacation to read all about it! As many of us know, being a solo parent has many, many challenges to say the least. Lately trying to balance being a solo mom with dealing with my grief has been quite overwhelming as we […]
That Twin Inevitable Heartbreak
As a widow, we hear plenty of platitudes. One of them being ‘time will heal all’. It’s one that I truly dislike and still makes me cringe mostly because I don’t believe it’s true. I don’t believe that time will heal becoming a widow. I don’t think anything will be able to heal that. I […]
A Family Vacation
Last week I was on vacation with my children and my late husband’s family. My in-laws organized the trip as an early celebration for their 50th wedding anniversary. We spent 6 days in the Outer Banks with Tony’s parents and his sister’s family. The cousins had fun together bouncing between the beach and the pool […]
Stuff, Stuff and More Stuff
When Erik passed the twins and I packed our entire house into a storage unit and moved. We only took with us what fit into the already full trucks of our two cars; one carry-on luggage that was stuffed for me by my cousin with random clothes and a few hampers filled with the twins’ […]
Approach of Father’s Day
As we enter June, my mind starts to think about all things surrounding Father’s Day. It will be our third Father’s Day without Erik. Each year seems to get harder as the twins get older. They have always asked for daddy since Erik passed but they are now looking for more of an answer. The […]
My LA Ambush
A group of widows is called an Ambush. I learned that at one of the three Camp Widow events I’ve attended. Greater than that fun fact, are the friendships I’ve built from those Camps. My home base Camp Widow has been San Diego. My first year in attendance, I almost instantly connected with three other […]
How Are You Doing?
This past weekend someone had asked me how I was doing. This question is one of those common questions you get in conversations and is usually followed by just a casual response of either ‘I’m good’ or ‘I’m fine’ and the conversation moves on. This person had meant something more than just the common question […]
Brewing Intuition
Last Sunday I woke up in California ready to head home after spending an incredible weekend with a group of widow friends. Being a travel day, the first thing I did was check my flights. Both flights were delayed by 15 minutes. I tried to go back to sleep but something told me to keep […]