Just like clockwork, another July rolls around. As each year passes, the important dates seem to hold more value as we get further from when Erik was here. July holds so much significance for us. July 2nd of the year Erik passed was supposed to be our “Christmas in July” vow renewal. These important dates always seem to give me flashbacks of those moments in time that I miss so much. That day took me back to the exact moment that we had come up with this idea together. Christmas in July. Keeping with the theme of our wedding date. We were on a trip to Nashville with our twins during the ‘ber months and we had been planning to have this renewal that following year. As we entered this famous hotel that was so grandly decorated with Christmas decor it felt as if we were walking right through a Hallmark Christmas scene and it brought back all the wonderful memories from our special day. I remember Erik saying to me, “How do we even create something as wonderful as Spain again?” We walked and talked and as we crossed this tiny bridge with a stream under it, all of a sudden it felt like somehow the exact same idea dropped into both our minds at the same time. And we looked at each other and just knew. The merging of two very important dates; the date Erik proposed, that first weekend in July because the 4th of July was one of my favorite holidays, and of course, our wedding date, which was on Christmas Eve Eve as that was one of our favorite holidays. Erik was nothing if not sentimental when it came to doing things with meaning behind it. So our Christmas in July theme was created. I could see the excitement on Erik’s face as we started talking about how we could execute this. And just like that another flashback came. All the brainstorming, all the ideas, all the plans that never got to be. It took me back to all those cancellations that had to be done at the same time as planning his funeral. It was hard enough trying to navigate losing my person and at the same time trying to plan his funeral while canceling all the arrangements for a day that we had been excitedly planning and looking forward to for years. In that flashback moment, it also took me back to all the people who were there for me from the very moment that Erik passed. My village. Those who leaped into action to help with his funeral or cancellation of what should have been another wonderful day in our lives, but most importantly those who leaped into action to hold my hand and walk right beside me as I dealt with my world as I knew it crumbling around me. And that day as I sat there with my feelings, those same people that had been there from the very beginning were there again. Holding my hand through the day, checking in, making sure I was okay even though this was the third time I’d had to survive this day since his passing. Time didn’t matter to them. Because they knew it didn’t matter to me. The third time hurt just as much as the first time, and maybe even a little more as the loss becomes more rooted in reality with each passing day since his death. And those people continued to be there as the next couple of days passed. Another funeral since his passing. Another favorite holiday with his presence missing from our family gatherings. Another engagement anniversary spent as one half to a whole. Another year of the July blues. And although it’s been 2 years, 3 months, and 24 days since losing Erik, they were still there. They were still there even with their own lives going on. The people that never forget because they knew I could never forget. The people I knew my heart could count on when these important days without him took me back to the first day of losing him. The people that are my and the twins’ village. The people I am so grateful for as I slowly make my way through another July.