Whew! It has been a hectic few weeks. I feel like I’m always in survival go-go-go mode where I’m just going through the motions of doing things without really being fully present in what I’m doing. I guess it comes with the territory of being a solo parent. Lately, I’ve been trying to remind myself […]
Widowed by Suicide
A Heart for a Smile
My parents received an extended family photo session for Christmas. The plan was to have the pictures taken this spring. The session would include my parents, my brother and his family, and my boys and me. However, finding a spring date that aligned with all five grandkids extra-curricular activities was not easy. Admittedly, my kids’ […]
A Heavy Heart
A repost! As I looked at the date today I couldn’t believe that it was only the second Tuesday of 2024. We are barely one week into this new year and it seems as if so much has happened. Within the past two days, I have had two friends pass back to back. Then to […]
Backyard Campout
Saturday, I hosted a BBQ backyard campout with my neighborhood crew for the third anniversary of Tony’s death. We gathered in the afternoon and six family’s setup tents to spend the night. Eighteen kids between the ages of 15 and 6 played together outside for hours. An equal number of adults converged on the patio. Yep, […]
Fate
I was a rather odd kid in that, from a very early age, I was fascinated by the past. In particular, the ancient past. I’m sure I have my dad to thank for sparking my interest by telling me all about geology and astronomy when I was still very small. These were subjects he was […]
Memories Missed
This past weekend some of my in-laws visited; Erik’s dad, his stepmom, and his older brother. It’s always great to have them visit and the twins always love being around them. While they were only here for a short while we made the most of it. As a solo mom, planning anything even just for […]
No Time
As I started to get ready for bed tonight, I realized it was Monday and I haven’t yet written anything. Our days feel so packed right now I don’t find myself looking too far forward. Which is probably why I am squeezing these posts out so late. Just under the chaos of everything, I know […]
The Little Things
A repost! I miss the little things. The things not many people talk about in loss. I don’t just miss my person on holidays, anniversaries, or milestones, but all those in between days. All the in-between minutes and seconds and moments. Something as simple as how he used to hug me from behind as I […]
Preparing for the Deathiversary
The kids and I made a plan for what to do on the upcoming third anniversary of Tony’s death. One of the boys and I were by ourselves driving recently when he asked me about camping. If we were ever going camping again, at a specific location Tony loved. I told him we would go […]
Where is your Dad?
Today during school pickup a little girl from the twins’ class ran up to me and started pulling at my jacket. As I was in the middle of hugging Charlotte, I didn’t pay her much attention. She kept pulling on my jacket as persistent as ever. So I looked down at her smiled and said, […]
April Again
Today marks the beginning of another April. This is THE month for me, the one we lost Tony. Last week I was chatting with a friend, and she asked me how I was feeling with the anniversary coming up soon. Also noting that it will be 3 years and how many people told me that […]
Dear Hubby
St. Patrick’s Day 2024 marked two years since Erik took his last breath. This year seemed to be more challenging in different ways than I remembered year one being. It seemed to hit harder and more vivid. I was so much more aware of the situation and my feelings and everything that has happened since […]