Last week I was on vacation with my children and my late husband’s family. My in-laws organized the trip as an early celebration for their 50th wedding anniversary. We spent 6 days in the Outer Banks with Tony’s parents and his sister’s family. The cousins had fun together bouncing between the beach and the pool at the house we rented.
This trip reminds me how fortunate we are to be able to maintain a healthy relationship with his family. I know that not everyone is so fortunate. There are many widows out there that would shudder at the idea of spending almost a week with their late partners family. I know it helps that I have known his family since we were in high school. Tony, his sister, and I were friends long before Tony and I ever started dating. We have almost thirty years of history but that’s not always a guarantee for maintaining a relationship after loss.
It’s also weird to vacation with his family without Tony. We never took a vacation together while he was alive. It’s kind of surreal to do it now that he is gone. I could envision him and the conversations we would have had during the trip. He would have loved playing with all the kids in the pool and sitting on the beach with me. When the boys went to race go carts, he would have been first in line. After I woke up on the first morning to find breakfast had already been made and eaten before 7:30am, he definitely would have teased his family relentlessly. I could see him in those scenes and little conversations, recapping our days together and giving his family trouble for their idiosyncrasies.
I never thought I’d be vacationing with his family, without him. I’m sure they’d say the same about me. But I’m glad we have each other.
