Why Speak of Them? Does it matter? As a widow of nearly four years, I wonder how many widowed people just tough-it-out and don’t reach out for help during their early days of widowhood. Or, perhaps they do, but they keep it private. It is possible to have professional grief therapy, counseling, or pastoral care […]
Blog
To my Erik,
In two weeks it will be three years since you took your last breath. So much has changed since you’ve been gone, yet sometimes it feels as if it was still just yesterday. I still very much feel as if I’m in survival mode. Each day I put on a brave face for the twins […]
Slideshow Selections
This is my last year having a kid in elementary school. Preparations have already begun for the year end celebration at the school. Our school hosts what they call the Fifth Grade Farewell. It’s a day of fun games and activities for the kids. At the end of the day, the kids, their teachers, and […]
Unsure
Hello friends. Happy Sunday to everyone! Today Id like to write about where I’m at, mentally and emotionally, at this point in life. I am 53 years old, and I have been married twice. This is something I still have a tough time accepting as reality. I never in a million years saw that being […]
Riding Off into the Sunset
I’m typically highly-sensitive to dates of significance pertaining to family members. I’d always served as the reminder-of-dates, a birthdate savant, advising everyone of someone’s upcoming Big Day. These days, however, I realize that it isn’t birthdates that I’m now good at recalling, but the dates-of-loss. I didn’t realize until this past week that although six […]
The Physicality of Grief
I remember as soon as Mario passed away, I started having weird, unexpected pains. There were these stabbing type of head pains that I’d never really dealt with before. There were unusual body aches. I really didn’t know what to make of it, so naturally, I turned to searching on the internet – “can grief […]
A New Adventure with My Friends
Bob and Linda made it out to Tucson from Ohio last year. I wrote a piece, “Putting the Band Back Together,” describing their visit. I suspect what I wrote at the time will in the relevant part still apply today: “This week has featured non-stop socializing. For one week, my dear friends, Bob and Linda, […]
Why I Return
to the Work of Grieving Grief work feels overwhelming. It takes courage to step toward the work with all the feelings in the way. Sadness that our person is not there. The strange dance of feeling hope and then feeling hopeless. I’m almost 4 years in now and I think the overwhelm is a normal […]
The Dark Day
A repost as we head into March! As we have now entered the dark month I find myself significantly more anxious during my days, more than I have been for a while. I feel like I have been trying so hard to not live in the days of 2022 leading to that dark day. It […]
What is in the Fridge
Last week I ordered a new refrigerator to replace the one Tony, and I purchased when our oldest was a toddler. It’s just an appliance, but that fridge has moved with us and been in my kitchen for about 14 years. Over the weekend I cleaned behind and under the old one. I found reminders […]
Spay it Forward
Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of my mother’s passing. On February 21st last year, I was on my way up north to what I’d hoped would be some quiet final moments with her as her condition had worsened and she’d been released to the care of my brother John’s family in New York State. But, […]
Eras, Part III
It’s kind of wild to think that I’ve lived in Oregon now for just 2 years shy of 20. It literally seems like last week that Mario and I left our apartment in Orange County, CA is our green, Kia Sportage with our computers and our cat. The moving truck had just picked up all […]