Lee still appears in my dreams from time to time, though infrequently. In my favorite and most memorable dream, she tells me that she feels better. Given that she has been sick for so long, I am grateful and happy to get this unexpected, good news, yet secretly I remain nervous pending the results of […]
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Widowhood Lessons
From a Labrador Retriever Awakened by my pet at 3:00am, I moan…. “Indy. . .” “Seriously?” A refrain I speak to my pet and my widowed life regularly. On par with life, her wee-hour pee evolves, occasionally, into something more complicated if a possum, racoon, or other nighttime critter makes an appearance. This […]
“I want to give your kids the world.”
A repost! As the twins’ birthday trip nears I have found myself caught in a whirlwind of emotions. More so than normal. Any time I’m getting ready for a trip I find myself thinking of Erik more often than I already do. So why do I continue to do it? Because traveling also makes me […]
Dead People Everywhere
It’s easy to get caught up in our own losses and forget that death impacts everyone. You look around at the grocery store and think you are the only widow buying hamburgers you’ll probably burn again. At the Dr’s office, it’s easy to assume the rest of the dads are at work. On vacation, every […]
When the Time is Right, So is the Dog
Recently, I found myself telling a good friend that dogs have often been an emotional life raft for me during challenging and lonely times, offering me a comforting space on which to rest and recover while needing to navigate the ever-changing currents of turbulent waters. First there was Hooper. In 2001, while sitting alone and […]
Reminders
This past week I got 2 pieces of junk mail addressed to Mario. It doesn’t happen as often as it did, but considering he’s been gone for 4 and half years now, you’d think I would get no mail in his name. As any widowed person knows, stuff like this is a reminder of all […]
Why I Strive
I have volunteered to lead occasional tours of my neighborhood for out-of-town visitors. The goal of the not-for-profit organization that is sponsoring these neighborhood tours is to promote understanding among people from diverse cultures and backgrounds. I was required to submit a formal application, which is pending. However, based on my experience as a volunteer […]
The Call and Response
When Traveling the Path of Grief The path we each travel to make our way through the daily ins & outs of our grief is personal and unique. As widowed people, our paths are often similar, yet different. On August 28, 2025, my husband’s birthday comes round, yet again, marking 75 years since he arrived. […]
Making Lemonade
It’s been 2 weeks, and I have been a bad widow, off doing widow things with this widow brain of mine. Week 1 totally spaced the Monday blog duty. Week 2, forgot to email and ask for a repost since I was out of town. Bad widow brain. Right before school started, I took the […]
Memories and Milestones
Yesterday, the condo unit where I lived and worked in Hackensack, NJ, once-upon-a-time, was sold. I’ve written about this building before because it holds so many memories for me, especially now living such a very different life far from a place that is still very special to me. I purchased that one-bedroom unit with my […]
The Depths
I read a fair amount of material on the supernatural, the paranormal, the occult, things lumped into the realm of “spiritual” as well as cultural interpretations on death and what might come after. This isn’t something that just started after I lost my person, this was something that started with my dad introducing me to […]
No Place Like Home
Lola the Wonder Dog and I departed from home two weeks ago on a Sunday to make the six-hour drive to Craig and Donna’s lakeside place. Lola is a terrific car dog. I occasionally had to glance over my shoulder just to be sure I hadn’t inadvertently left her behind at a gas station. It […]