I missed my post last week because we took an extended 4th of July weekend. As tradition demands, we spent the early part of the day at my parents’ pool with friends. In the evening, my in-laws hosted their annual firework show. This is how we have tackled the 4th since before Tony died. It’s […]
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The SIgnificance of Widow Friends
I had brunch in the Castro in San Francisco today with two close widow friends, one of their partners, and my (alive) partner. I met my two widow friends thru Soaring Spirits’ LGBTQI+ Regional Group, and we are in our own tight knit group of 15 widows and 3 (now 4) alive partners of 4 […]
A “Tail of Two Dog Worlds”
Last Tuesday I found myself immersed in meetings that revolved around the world of dogs; a lunch gathering with the owner of the local animal rescue (I serve on their board) and her colleagues and later, a Zoom meeting with the board of the Dog Writers Association of America (DWAA). Two distinct worlds, both united […]
Past and Present
The summer of 2020 was a weird and unsettling time. We were early in the pandemic and there was just a heavy feeling all around. Mario’s health was really tanking, yet he was still not acknowledging it. We’d gone on a short camping trip about 50 miles to the east. I remember we had a […]
My Friend is Okay, and So Am I
If history is any guide, a transient ischemic attack, or TIA, sometimes also referred to as a ministroke, will strike approximately one-quarter million Americans this year. See “A Ministroke Can Have Major Consequences” by Paula Span, found at https://kffhealthnews.org/news/article/ministroke-transient-ischemic-attack-tia-major-consequences/ (5/27/25). According to the American Stroke Association, it occurs when blood flow to the brain is […]
Looking back . . .
. . . it was all fear. “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” –C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed An interesting phenomena when looking back to the early days of widowhood is that I see things now that I was unable to see then. Things I may or may not […]
The Power of Holding Her Hand
June was Pride Month AND Filipino Heritage Month, and is always my busiest month as a result. I am greatly involved in organizing many of the activities, as well as participating in those I have no responsibility with (often my favorite times). I couldn’t help but remember the many memories Lynn and I made over […]
Coping with “Ruff Moments”
I hope everyone is enjoying a safe and sound holiday weekend during the Fourth of July celebrations that are inevitably ocurring in all corners of the United States. I like to think of the First of July as a good time to declare Happy Half Year and take a moment to process the first portion […]
The 4th of July
4th of July was arguably Mario’s favorite holiday. It was not his favorite due to any sort of patriotic leanings. It was his favorite because it was a giant party. Years before we lived in an apartment together in Orange County, CA, we would get together with other friends and go to whatever giant rave […]
Five Years
Yesterday marked the fifth anniversary of Lee’s death. Not a day passes, nor many moments, when she is out of mind. My memories of Lee –even the sad ones- are part of her legacy. I sincerely wish this were not the case because, in an alternative universe, Lee would still be healthy, and happily, we […]
How far have I come?
Where am I headed? The word journey is a funny word. It seems to speak of both time and distance. How far does one travel on the path of grief? Where exactly are we “going”? From 2021 to the present, my journey loosely followed this trajectory: –Year One was a fog; I went […]
Seasons of Change
And just like that, we say goodbye to June and hello to July. What a whirlwind of a month June was. I felt like I was holding on to the bumper of a car moving at 100 miles per hour. It was a month full of milestones, memories, and so so many emotions. Looking back […]