I hope everyone is enjoying a safe and sound holiday weekend during the Fourth of July celebrations that are inevitably ocurring in all corners of the United States. I like to think of the First of July as a good time to declare Happy Half Year and take a moment to process the first portion of a “New Year”.
I realize that for the widowed population, weekends, and especially holiday weekends, are tough emotionally. I still spend time on sites for the widowed and this is always so painfully evident. Weekends and holidays that used to be filled with plans and fun are now filled with hours of reflecting on memories that althought may be happy now only serve as reminders of their loss.
For many of these people, dogs and other pets, can to fill that void and get us back out to the living world if only to bring a bit of relief from grief. But those moments of relief are good for our mental and physical health.
Eight months after Rich’s passing, I took my rescue pup, Quint, on a little road trip when I still lived in Georgia. Rich and I had made so many trips to Florida, from Amelia Island, to the Keys and the the state’s West Coast, often checking out areas where we might want to settle eventually. Although I love the Keys, for practical matters, I believed Northern Florida was the best place for us and we’d considered the St. Augustine area. We’d also wanted to check out New Smyrna Beach but never got to, so at just about this time in July 2022, I decided it was time to venture out on my own and that is where I headed.
It helped to have a sweet fluffy canine travel companion. Quint, who is blind, was and still is a great car traveler. He loves to go for rides and even took a road trip from Georgia to New Jersey with me in my very early daze of widowhood.
Quint and I had a great time together. We dined in several spots and always received a warm welcome and a cool water bowl. It was good for me to get away from my home and community on my own, this time not staying with friends or relatives, but completely on our own where we knew no one. For me, it was a reminder of my pre-Rich days when I was very independent and always on the go. It was an important turning point in my new found and unexpected life. With a dog and a car, we could go anywhere.
When Rich and I were considering a home in Florida, I relayed that I’d love to find a log cabin in the northern part of the state and I became obsessed with looking for one. There aren’t many, but they do exist. Funny that I found this elusive place just an hour from St. Ausgustine, and sometimes I believe Rich helped to guide me here to the wilds of Old Florida, still untouched by development, down a long dirt road that I hope is never paved. The home’s numerical address is also the same as my childhood home in Hackensack, New Jersey. Funny how things happen.
If you find yourself stuck in grief, especially on weekends like this, sit up and count from 100 backwards and then take a walk, stretch, work out, spend time with your animals if you have them. Make plans if you can. Nap. Repeat. For some, life’s circumstances make this especially challenging, but you need to make your physical and emotional health a priority for the good of everyone.
Eventually the better moments will outnumber the bad. If you can, trade those rough moments for “ruff” moments.
