Aloneness – I had not heard this word until after I was widowed. It feels bigger than loneliness, more all encompassing. It felt right for me back in 2010 and feels right for me now. I do know I can be happy living alone … it took awhile but I eventually found it after Vern […]
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Flashbacks
It’s weird how a flash of seemingly nothing can transport you back in time. One minute I’m running errands, crossing off my mental to do list, and the next I’m back in 2021. I don’t even know what prompted it. It could have been anything though; a song on the radio, a task he used […]
To Holiday Decorate or Not To Holiday Decorate?
I still don’t know if I am going to put up even a fraction of the massive amount of XMas decorations I have… Lynn came into our relationship with bins and bins of XMas decorations, a set and a half of a Dept 56 XMas Village, and all the Santa themed items under the sun. […]
Moving Parts
As we are just about through the first week of December, I realize that this is the third Christmas spent here in Old Florida. For those who may not know, I moved here two years after the passing of my husband, Rich. I was content in the home in Southeast Georgia that Rich and I […]
Points in Time
Once again, I’ve been thinking bout the past. I know everyone always says, the past is the past, and I get that, but the past has also made me what I am today. Everything I’ve ever done has led right to this moment in time. Sometimes, it’s only through looking back, that you have realizations […]
The Widowed
Wedding rings on or off. Belief in an after-life, or not. Belief that our person is near, or fiercely shouting “No! They are gone!” Some of us move quickly toward another relationship to fill the void. Some of us believe they are present in a new way and hang with them daily through […]
Am I Still Considered ‘Newly Widowed’ …
… since this is the second time I’ve lost my husband? I actually hadn’t thought about giving myself that label until someone suggested it. But Jim died just 9 weeks ago – so, of course, I am newly widowed. Since I went through all of this 15 years ago, perhaps I’m better prepared this time. […]
Holiday Travel
I’m sorry I bailed on everyone last week. It was on my mental to do list to request a repost blog, but I didn’t write it down. Most of us suffer from forgetfulness in widowhood and I am no exception. When I finally remembered I forgot to send that email, it was late Monday afternoon, […]
What if We Met Today?
I was chatting with a newer friend recently, and we were comparing how we were in high school. I made a comment like, “I wonder if we would have hated each other / not gotten along in high school!” This made me think, would Lynn like me now? What would it be like if we […]
Passing Holiday Milestones to Better Days Ahead
Just a few days ago, an archived Facebook photo from 2021 that I’d posted the Thanksgiving weekend four weeks after Rich’s passing, appeared in my Feed. At that time, my elderly mother had come to stay with me and although I truly wasn’t into holiday decorating, for her sake, I did. That memory made […]
The Last Thanksgiving
(Reposting from 2023, since every Thanksgiving I can’t help but this of this last one with Mario. Actual Thanksgiving this year I just spent a few hours with my mom and had leftovers from the Friendsgiving spread I did on Wednesday.) Trigger alerts for: addiction, depression, and bitter sweet holiday memories. The last Thanksgiving that […]
Seasonal Gifts
Lee’s brother, Paul, called yesterday to invite me to share Thanksgiving with him, Joanne, one of their grown boys, Andy, and Andy’s brood. He brought me up to date on Joe’s successful, recently completed Fall tour with his current musical group, the oddly named “Olllam.” Joe is Paul and Joanne’s other grown son. According to […]