I am currently in the Philippines, visiting with family for the holidays. We are from a small mountain town, where both my parents’ families have lived for generations. My Mom, who passed away 2.5 years ago, is here in our family mausoleum. Even when I was a child visiting “home,” going to the cemetery was […]
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Holiday Adaptations
This week I spent some time in my former residence in St. Marys, Georgia. With its recent tenants moved out, I haven’t spent much time in that house for the last two years. With a new development currently being constructed literally in my own backyard, the woods that once lined that property have been replaced […]
The Joys of Home Ownership
Mario and I purchased our house (I’ll probably always call it “our” house) back in 2007. After looking at many different houses, this one stood out and we made an offer as soon as we saw it. Through a series of “perfect timing” type of events, we closed on the house within 30 days. I […]
It is Truly Better to Give
Around this time each year, I make numerous charitable contributions to causes that were near and dear to Lee’s kind heart. It’s a way for me to honor her that makes me feel like we are still sharing. *** For example, even before Lola the pup came into my life, Lee and I were stalwarts […]
Holiday Pause for Peace
What do I need in this moment? I take a breath I breathe in peace I breathe in silence I breathe in words, story, and music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCpXMy5GalI&list=RDlCpXMy5GalI&start_radio=1 Please excuse the holiday ad at the beginning. Worth waiting for Peace on Earth with Bing Crosby & David Bowie and assorted music […]
Sign, Sign. Everywhere a Sign
Do you believe we can receive signs from our loved ones? I do. Some may say I’m doing a bit of reaching on this. Maybe. But if we can find something – anything – that helps us navigate through our loss, to help ease some of the pain, then why not grab it? After Vern […]
Funeral Attendance
Today I went to a funeral for friend whose mom passed away. I have known this friend since high school, and I think I even crashed on the couch in their basement once. I know some people avoid almost all future funerals after losing their partner. Admittedly, some of them are easier to sit through […]
Holiday Traditions Evolving
“Fun” fact – Lynn and I never spent a Christmas together in the 10 years we were together on Earth. Her family lived in Tennessee, and mine lived in the same town we lived. We both had big families we were close to, with lots of nieces and nephews. We both wanted to spend the […]
On the Scent of Home
Four years ago December 9th, I adopted an adorable Maltese-mix puppy out in San Diego. I’ve written before about Quint’s arrival in my life just seven weeks after Rich’s passing. Quint, named for Robert Shaw’s character in JAWS, began his life on the very same day Rich entered the ICU beginning what would become the […]
Volunteering
How many of the widowed folks out there keep in contact with their spouse’s relatives? Mario’s mom passed away in 2007 and his grandparents also passed after we’d made the move up to Oregon, but he kept in touch with his aunt (his mom’s sister) and cousin who also ended up in Oregon as well […]
Winter Arrives Early
After I had bragged here about months of unseasonably nice weather at home, Robyn and I just returned from a glorious week on a beach in the Dominican Republic to find eight inches of snow on the ground with temperatures hovering in the low twenties. Snow and the trailing bitter cold constituted a one-two punch. […]
Bringing Our Person Into the Holidays
Traditions, Rituals, and Memory Making Where do we begin? How does one start a new tradition or ritual for one’s self or for a family? How does making memories help? As holidays appear and then move on, how do we fill the empty place where our person is missing? GRIEF I had my own […]