Lee still appears in my dreams from time to time, though infrequently. In my favorite and most memorable dream, she tells me that she feels better. Given that she has been sick for so long, I am grateful and happy to get this unexpected, good news, yet secretly I remain nervous pending the results of her next scan. However, miraculously, this scan shows her cancer has completely disappeared. Lee is in remission. We softly kiss to celebrate, and I can feel her lips and mouth against mine. I inhale her familiar odor and think, “This is real.” I am ecstatic, but when I awaken, I am alone, deeply saddened because Lee is still dead and gone.
In subsequent dreams of Lee, we are together only temporarily. In one dream I recall, she is driving a car down a street, spots me, then stops to pick me up. Likewise, in other dreams, Lee appears unexpectedly. I understand this as a common-sense metaphor that Lee and I exist on different planes.
The most recent such dream occurred just within the last two weeks. In it, I have moved into a dingy apartment that is barely furnished. Lee suddenly appears to me. I explain that I’m hesitant to lay new wall-to-wall carpeting in a rental unit. Lee offers that her mother once painted a cheap linoleum floor to appear like more expensive carpeting. Even in a dream, this does not seem like a good idea. Yet, I observe that Lee’s dead mom is lurking in the background, and think better of saying so.
***
I catch myself thinking about my dream in my waking hours. Over several days, I am continuing to feel vexed, so, as is my wont, I undertake a bit of research, hoping to ferret out a sensible explanation for my feelings.
Scientists who study sleep can describe the physical processes associated with dreaming. I learn that they have identified many common dream themes, including being chased, falling, going to school, engaging in sexual activity, flying, repeating an activity or behavior, and spending time with someone dead. Unfortunately, these “[r]esearchers still have a poor understanding of why people dream, which makes it even more difficult to assess the meaning or content of specific types of dreams.” “What does it mean when we dream?”, Medical News Today, found at https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/284378#faq (emphasis added).
The hard science stands in stark contrast to the assortment of soothsayers, fortune tellers, and psychics who populate the inter-Google universe, offering to interpret your dreams for a subscription fee. In my desperation, I consider turning to a dream dictionary.
Much as ordinary dictionaries provide definitions of words or phrases, a dream dictionary purports to define our dreams. However, when I flip to the letter “D,” I find no entry for decorating tips.
My immediate disappointment is tempered as I recall something that I read in one of the other articles I have reviewed: “Dreams matter because we experience them as meaningful. They are the poetry of the mind, written each night in the language of images. Even when bizarre, even when terrifying, they remind us that beneath logic and routine, we are creatures of mystery.” Science News Today, “Why Do We Dream And What Do Dreams Mean?”, found at https://www.sciencenewstoday.org/why-do-we-dream-and-what-do-dreams-mean.
Can it be that receiving home decorating tips from the Great Beyond is among the eternal mysteries Man was never meant to solve?
