After Robyn informed me that her granddaughter had been selected to perform the national anthem at a Major League Baseball game, I took steps to secure very good seats close to home plate with an excellent vantage point of both the field and her granddaughter. Just before game time a young woman emerged onto the […]
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Of Butterflies, Puppies, and the Dan Neff Dog
The surprising journey of widowhood. Part of the widowed journey, as I experience it, is having to face new things. Some new things contain the kind of surprises you don’t want to receive. For example, if your partner always took the dog to vet, then the first vet visit on your own might surprise you […]
Yet Another Secondary Loss
Main image by Patty Brito on Unsplash This is my 100th post for Soaring Spirits. Which sounds more monumental than the 104th, due in a few weeks, which will mean that I have been writing here for two years. I know I have not missed one Tuesday. Discipline is good. Habits are good. Who would […]
Strong on Your Love (Repost)
Staci is out of town this week, so we’re reposting her blog from February 19, 2018. Enjoy! I am tired of trying to be – ‘not sad’. I am exhausted from the aching in my heart. I am weary from recognizing Joy everywhere, All around me, And, still feeling hollow inside, I am aware […]
Coming Down
So Im coming of the end of the week that was /is the 10 year death anniversary of Don Shepherd. Nick and I hosted a “Pay it Forward for Don Lasagna Dinner” at Clear Path for Veterans, where he cooked some of Don’s favorite foods for up to 50 veterans and their families. We shopped, […]
Authentic Anger
I’m harder on myself more than people realize. There are times I haven’t honored my feelings because I just try to see the bright side of everything. I have a high tolerance for others but sometimes I look the other way more than I should. I have to remember to give myself grace during growth […]
Cry, Cry, Cry
It has been a while since I have cried. A really good, long cry. The last time I think was when I watched the Netflix movie Fatherhood. I sobbed during that one and then for a while after. Sometimes it feels so good to cry, doesn’t it? It is like it has been bottled up […]
Word of Mouth
At long last, shortly before Labor Day we will be hosting a celebration of Lee’s life here at Deer Tick Manor, where Lola the pup and I currently are spending several relaxing days. The guest list mainly consists of the folks whose email addresses we had gathered last summer around this same time, as we […]
90 Days
It’s been ninety days without you. When this post publishes it will be exactly 90 days since I walked you to the white van parked in our driveway to see you off. The night was cool, being after midnight, and the kind ushers walked in slow motion as they made their way step by careful […]
Noticing and Shifting Patterns of Living with Loss(es)
Main image by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash In the last few years, I have come across the field of “Human Systems Dynamics” (HSD), which offers ways of thinking and tools for exploring complex human systems. I learn about it mostly for professional reasons, but since my professional and personal interests are so integrated and intertwined, […]
Fly the Coop
There remains a lot going on in my life as I transition from my house of fourteen years to my new home. I have been between homes since the end of April; and though I am unsettled, I feel fairly calm. My new life is starting to take shape and this is exciting. It has been 4.7 years since I have really felt any type of warm anticipation about anything substantial. The feeling of hopeful anticipation about my future has been foreign to me in grief. Hope feels like the feels from another life I used to live. But, recently, hope reigns supreme for me. I guess this is what thawing from grief feels like. Slowly, I have worked to come back to life and I am more than ready to reap the benefits of my hard work.
That feeling …
It is 2 days away from July 13th – the one decade mark of Don Shepherd’s sudden death. Its hard to describe my emotions right now, in leading up to this day. Im saddened, reflective, grateful, pained, oddly connected in a new way, overwhelmed, and filled with an entire decade of the missing of everything […]