It is 2 days away from July 13th – the one decade mark of Don Shepherd’s sudden death.

Its hard to describe my emotions right now, in leading up to this day.

Im saddened, reflective, grateful, pained, oddly connected in a new way, overwhelmed, and filled with an entire decade of the missing of everything that Don Shepherd was, and everything he brought to this world. I know that he will inspire me forever, and that I will continue my mission to help people through loss and to pay forward kindness in his name – and so I know that he will live on eternally.

BUT I STILL MISS HIM. I still miss him so very much, and always.

He should be here on earth to witness all that has happened.

He should be here to hug Sammy and Autumn and to walk Sammy through his last years or months or weeks of kitty life that he has left.

He should be going to Fenway today to see the Red Sox play with Nick, my brother, my brother’s son, and my dad. Three generations of Niemi’s , all talented baseball players , headed to Fenway together today. Don would have been beaming at the idea of that. And yeah, maybe he is. But he isnt doing it here, at the ballgame.

My thoughts are all over the place. But I do feel Don’s presence everywhere, in all the right places, in all the right times. He make me laugh whenever Im down and then I hear Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer” blasting on the radio – the song I used to blast in his ear through my cell phone because I knew he hated it, and hated Jon Bon Jovi’s voice. Last night, I was watching the Yankees game, which I never get to watch because they are never on here in Massachusetts, and the pitcher threw a complete shutout game and struck out 10 guys. Amazing. At the end of the game, right before the commercial, they play a few notes of a random song to lead into the ads. Last night they played the first few notes of The Rolling Stones “Gimme Shelter”, which was Don’s ringtone on his cell phone. Of all the songs, they played that one, at the end of Don’s beloved Yankees game. It made me smile and also cry, all at once.

I hope some of you will consider doing a Pay it Forward for Don Shepherd Act of Kindness on Tuesday, to help me commemorate 10 years since his death, and 9 years of Pay it Forwards. The detailed information is on my Facebook page, and will also be on the Pay it Forward for Don; A Decade of Kindness Event page on FB, which you can search publicly.

The people we love who die live on when we carry their stories forward, and when we take on all of their best qualities and keep them alive in our everyday lives. AND, we still miss them forever. After ten years of living with this life-altering loss, these are two things that I know for absolute sure.

Thanks for reading. If you see a rainbow this week, send me a picture so I can laugh and think of Don’s love, all over again.