I’m harder on myself more than people realize. There are times I haven’t honored my feelings because I just try to see the bright side of everything. I have a high tolerance for others but sometimes I look the other way more than I should. I have to remember to give myself grace during growth and sometimes growing with grief involves anger. Well, I’ll be honest with you. I got really angry this week and let it out. I don’t regret it because it was authentic and appropriately used.

This week was extremely emotional. Thursday was Clayton’s birthday and all week long I watched others show little to no gratitude for what they have. They showed no courtesy, no one asking others how they were, just asking for more for them selves. All week I felt anger. I hit a tipping point from my widowed anger and it resulted in a strong lesson for a very inconsiderate individual.

I witnessed a woman rudely pour negative attitude all over a scene because she had illegally parked and blocked others. She was asked to move her car because someone had to get somewhere in a hurry. She retaliated by calling people jerks for inconveniencing her. I heard her say she didn’t care that others were trying to leave and I finally snapped. I couldn’t stand one more person acting selfish. I granted myself permission to let out my anger and use it to create perspective about politeness:

“Well you parking here might be keeping someone from getting to the hospital. Maybe they just got a call that there is an emergency with a family member and you made them miss their chance at a last goodbye. So sorry you’re inconvenienced.”

The woman and her whole family stopped in their tracks. All the attitude, dirty looks and nasty words stopped. I stared her directly in her eyes. I wanted to let more out but I knew my words hit their mark. There wasn’t a reason to unleash the widowed dragon. She already felt the heat from my heartbreak. Burning her further with my bereavement wouldn’t help anything and I know later I’d regret going too far – Keep the fire fast, focused and use it few and far between.

“Oh I’m so sorry. I was frustrated with how busy everything is. I didn’t think of that.” She replied as she looked away, joined her family and drove off.

Some may say I should have let her have it. Some would say that was too much to make her feel bad for the rest of the day. Either way, I’m allowed to be authentically angry sometimes and I’ll keep using my loss in hopes it opens the way for others…