I’m having computer problems, so I’m writing via my iPhone. Today I moved into my new home. It’s a home I fell immediately in love with. During the past few days I have trying to coordinate so many things at once, and found myself amazed at how smoothly it was all going. As others have pointed out to me lately, life seems to be going my way.If life…
widower
a resemblance.
everyone tells me that my daughter looks like her mother. and when i say everyone, i mean everyone. *our family. *our friends. *strangers who’ve only seen photos of them. …when i look at madeline i, (of course), recognize the resemblance. and when i remember liz, and when i see photos of liz, that connection becomes even more apparent. … during…
things.
one by one, with each trip to minnesota, they started to appear. new to me. new to maddy,but obviously only new to the two of us. first it was the bucket of crayons. then the silk pillow and matching silk blanket. then the baton with the water and green glitter inside. this trip? a plastic doll house and all the accessories that belonged inside. no…
Roses for Deltha
In what has become a tradition of ours, this Tuesday my kids and I placed roses in the sand. We tend to commemorate milestones related to my wife and especially the anniversary of her death by going to her favorite place, the beach. Inevitably whatever flowers we have wind up being planted ever so gently in the sand. Some years we’ll add a short…
How to be Thankful.
I just returned home from dinner out with the kids. It’s a nice rainy night, and we were all so warm and cozy inside the restaurant. It was the usual mix of merriment, and frustration, with us trying to have a good time, yet my daughter and I having to sit through the boys’ ongoing bickering. I shouldn’t be too surprised, as I don’t think I…
whose memories?
are the memories i have mine, or do they belong to someone else? i think about that a lot.like yesterday i was driving through hollywood and i saw an apartment building that we considered moving into. i could remember the interior, and i could remember the balcony, and the sound of traffic, and the smell of new paint and new carpet, and several…
strange.
gray and black hair, missing teeth, reeking of booze, wearing a shirt that said, “vote no on yes.”the man talked to me about outdated technology while i sat there trying to ignore him staring at the tv, waiting for the results of another election. “what’s your name?” “matt,” i told him. “matthew?” he said, reaching out to shake my hand. “yeah.” he…
Mantra
I get up each morning, turn off the alarm, then go downstairs to get my boys up for school. I shower, get dressed for work, make sure the pets are taken care of, then off we go. My days are getting busier now that I am working once again. I go about my day, eager to learn all the new things about my job, getting to know new people, and putting on a…
unfinished.
in a drawer. in a bag. some yarn. a notebook.on one page: “chunky baby sweater” on another: “cable knit baby hat” in her handwriting. those words followed by a bunch of numbers that must have meant something to her. eyes scanning the pages, finding different numbers at the top of one page: 11/7/07. at the top of another page: 12/(something)/07. a…
gone.
it’s gone. but how could it be? i was just there a month ago… it had been there since before my memories of this city were actual experiences. close to 9 years.we used to go there when we lived in the neighborhood. almost every saturday or sunday, we’d sit under the awning, on the sidewalk listening to the cars drive by, watching the hipsters…
This is my history
I have been feeling kind of lost lately. I’m a bit unsure about a lot of things. For one, I have been renting a house for the past few months while I sell off my house in San Francisco, which has provided the kids and I a temporary home while we get settled into San Diego. As of today, I no longer own a house. Yes, my house sold, which is good, but…
a trip.
we needed toget away.just the three of us.so we did.off to honolulu.with no plansother than toensure thatmadeline had the timeof her life.(that’s my only real goal in life).she did.she played on the beach and in the ocean and at the zoo and even took in a couple of sunsets. none of this iseasy, but a fewmoments alone togethergo a longway in helping…