it started off much the same way it did the year before (in a bar), but i have to say that the 2010 version was even better than 2009. why? several reasons. first, i got to catch up with the folks i met last year. so much had changed for all of us, and i got the sense that even the reason we were there had changed. it’s not that we…
widower
something I didn’t expect
on march 25th, 2008 i had more friends than i’d ever thought i’d have, and more family members than i remembered having.everyone i’d known throughout my life rallied around me in numbers i never could have expected, all of them ready to ready to help me clean my house, (as if i needed a clean house) to feed me (as if i could eat without puking)…
hindu temple
today you went to your first muslim mosque (just realized i didn’t take any photos of that) as well as your first hindu temple.you met a ton of very friendly people and learned a little bit about cultures other than your own. don’t worry… i don’t expect you to remember everything you learned today. we’ll come back here a lot as you get…
the same, but not
we walked here, in the same place you now stand, through a uttar pradeshian summer, the two of us, hand-in-hand until we could no longer.still we walked near one another, separated by it, yet kept close because of it. we learned about this place, hearing how it and a lack of water drove them from here. we both understood then, why otherwise…
i didn’t think about it
i thought about it from time to time, but i wasn’t sure i’d ever come across it again. i had a vague sense of where it was, but it’s not like i i really end up near this place all that often.so the memory could have remained just that. i’ve gone much further to find the places i’ve wanted to rediscover, and this one is so…
didn’t think about it
i thought about it from time to time, but i wasn’t sure i’d ever come across it again. i had a vague sense of where it was, but it’s not like i i really end up near this place all that often. so the memory could have remained just that. i’ve gone much further to find the places i’ve wanted to rediscover, and this one is so…
Guess Who is Coming to Dinner?
I don’t know why, but when I sat down to write this post, I thought of this title. Recently I was asked to be a guest blogger here on Widow’s Voice, so here I am. This new world that I have become a part of is very strange. Sometimes I feel like my new peer group should be called something darker, like Knights of the Darkness, or The Left Behind.
written words
today, someone asked me what i do. when i told her she asked, “how do you come up with them?” “i don’t know,” i said. “i can’t make them stop.”and it reminded me that i used to wonder, are there enough of them? they seemed so hard to come by before that moment, but now, they’re as plentiful as the rays of light blanketing los…
TMI?
What do I tell the kids when they get older? Specifically, what do I tell Molly, the child Lisa carried in her womb while fighting cancer?Do I tell her that her mom’s cancer spread when she was pregnant? Even though the doctors said the cancer was estrogen negative and that didn’t affect the pregnancy. Do I still tell her? Do I tell her a…
circles
not long after the darkness fell upon us, i came up with an arbitrary goal… wear them one day longer than her. but this wasn’t the first time i let some unspoken goal determine my behavior. no, giving myself a personal challenge that eventually becomes a near obsessive compulsive disorder, this is a problem i’ve always had. like that…
not gone
there, where they used to be, is a thin line, dug deep into my skin, one that only i can see, a reminder that they’re still there even if they’re not where they used to be. that line will not be there forever, but the mark they left on me will remain until i breathe no longer.
working and happy
it is late and i’m still awake, a fit of creativity has settled upon my brain, and has translated into eight fingers and two thumbs, working to pound out the words i’ve struggled to find.tonight i spoke to one of my best friends in the world, and she cried for us. happy tears, knowing, evident in the smile in my photos, the words that i write…