What do I tell the kids when they get older? Specifically, what do I tell Molly, the child Lisa carried in her womb while fighting cancer?
Do I tell her that her mom’s cancer spread when she was pregnant? Even though the doctors said the cancer was estrogen negative and that didn’t affect the pregnancy. Do I still tell her?
Do I tell her a doctor wanted Lisa to terminate the pregnancy because she had fluid around her heart and they had to go in and remove it so it wouldn’t collapse? Do I tell Molly how Lisa looked at him without missing a beat and said,
“No, find another way. I am not giving this baby up due to unknowns.”
Will Molly think it’s heroic that Lisa told them to stick a needle in her chest to remove the fluid while she was awake because she couldn’t be put under? Or will that make Molly sad to know all the pain and sacrifice Lisa went through to save this child while trying to save her own life.
There is so much I don’t know about raising three girls alone. There is so much to guide them through and it scares me that it’s never going to end. Even when they become young adults the questions will soon arise about Mom. When they get married, when they have kids, when they lose someone close…the more they understand life, the more they will realize that this was a big deal. This loss will always be there as a reminder.
Question is what should that reminder be? Do I tell the kids when they get older? Do I tell them everything?