Today, April 20th, is the fifth anniversary of Tony’s death. Yesterday I thew a huge party in his honor. (More on that next week.) As a result, my heart is both empty and overflowing with love. I had a soul cleansing cry at the end of the night (which was technically today). It was good […]
Widowed
I’m Off the Clock ⏰
Said no widowed parent ever!!! 😂 This week I am traveling with our kids for their spring break…🛫 Ay Dios mío!!! I’m super nervexcited! 🚘 I will report back after the trip with our teenage boy and teenage girl, doing things they have never done before. 🚵🏼♀️ Like hiking a lot, hiking inside a river […]
Ashes to Ashes
I thought I’d have a bit more time with him … but they want his ashes shipped now. So I got those required boxes from the Post Office and I carefully wrapped up both Jim and Estelle (his first wife) according to the specific instructions. I wasn’t able to fit both of them in one […]
Right Before
Isn’t it weird to look back on the week before their passing? Depending on the circumstances of their death, that week has a kaleidoscope of events across our widowhoods. For us, life was thrumming along. Spring was coming but the last dregs of winter were holding on. Kids sports were getting ready to hit full […]
Identity Theft 🪪
Victim of Identity Theft 👤 Not the kind where creeps take your Social Security number, name and address and try to impersonate you with American Express 💳. But the kind that happens after your person dies. The kind that strips you of everything that made you, you. I have a feeling you know where I’m […]
Still Some Cocooning
It was a busy week (for me) but I survived it. Cocooning still feels more comfortable and safe, but I know it’s important to get back out there socially so I’m trying. Thursday I enjoyed catching up with my old co-workers after so long … I should say ‘former’ not ‘old’ since I do believe […]
Hobby Exploration
Over the last five years, I’ve asked myself a few times what do you want to do with your time? Are there new hobbies you want to try? Old ones to pick up? How will you fill all the time you expected to spend with your partner now that he is gone? What will bring […]
This Is Me
I have a tonnn of songs in my “Grief Songs” Playlist – a carefully curated list of songs accumulated over the past 11 years of songs that are about grief, help me have “a good cry” (I am now at a place in my journey that I can schedule these “good cry’s” at a “convenient” […]
JOKE IS ON YOU! 🤣
APRIL FOOL’S DAY Laughter is medicine for the soul, they say. Humor is the “glue” that holds a relationship together, they say. But DARK humor? It can become a survival tool too, baby! I say. I am willing to bet my tax refund 💵 to say that one doesn’t truly know dark humor until you lose […]
Six Months
Even though it’s a bit cloudy, it’s a pretty lovely day here in the desert. My roses are budding and blooming, leaves have returned to the trees, there’s a soft breeze, 83 degrees. Spring has most definitely arrived. And it’s been six months since Jim died. He created this beautiful backyard, so I always […]
A Party to Plan
This week we turn the calendar to April. Once again, I will find myself in the month that Tony passed. What feels crazy to me is that this year will be the 5th anniversary of his death. Five years is bananas. It’s hard to believe that much time has passed. A month or so ago, […]
Scrambled Thoughts 🍳 with a Side of Trauma.
⌛️ It has been 842 days, 13 hours, and 41 minutes. Roughly 2 years, 3 months, and 22 days. But the trauma, the slow agonizing torture, started for me more than five years ago with his terminal brain cancer diagnosis. It blindsided us. If your person was ill for a while, you know what I […]