Where is joy? I’m grateful to be alive this day to breathe in air to witness beauty and to walk barefooted upon the earth. Grief’s feeling cycles remind me that I am alive. The values which form the backbone of my existence remind me to pay attention. Where does joy reside? […]
Widowed
Enduring Silence
I lost a friendship I once valued, Who knows where the drift began. But you can’t make amends with silence, Although it’s not quiet like the dead. This silence breeds indifference, I refuse to accept the shrinking effects. I’ve already survived his death, This too, I will endure. I imagine they are hurting too, Missing […]
Non “Magical Thinking”
For years after Lynn passed, I never shied away from “hard feelings” ie: sadness, anger, exhaustion, confusion, etc. If a feeling came along, I gave it a place to stay as long as it needed to. I had no filter with people either. If people asked “how was I doing,” I matter of factly told […]
On Sunflowers
A Medicine for Joy? part one of a three-part meditation on joy Ah Sun-flower! weary of time, Who countest the steps of the Sun: Seeking after that sweet golden clime Where the travellers journey is done. Where the Youth pined away with desire, And the pale Virgin shrouded in snow: Arise from their graves […]
Free will, again.
I swear that in this life, my lesson is to learn all about human free will. You’ve probably heard the term (I’ve also mentioned it in a previous post). It’s been around since the ancient Greek philosophers first talked about the notion that humans could freely decide between doing/choosing or not doing/choosing something. Philosophers ever […]
A Poet’s Wisdom
death’s sting is in my heart and mind and memories When I think of death, and of late the idea has come with alarming frequency, I seem at peace with the idea that a day will dawn when I will no longer be among those living in this valley of strange humors. I […]
Resting in Peace
Our Own Way We wish for our person to rest in peace—what about us? Are there moments of peace that we create for ourselves? Grief follows us like a shadow. No matter where we turn it can show up. Up close and personal. First thing in the morning, as we stretch from the night’s […]
Solo Motherhood
As summer draws near and we are at the finish line for yet another school year, the weight of being a solo parent has been even more apparent lately. First, it started with research and enrollment for kindergarten. The official public school days are about to begin, and I couldn’t wrap my head around it. […]
Sundays are the Most Nostalgic
Sunday afternoons are sometimes still the most nostalgic and bittersweet times. I frequently have packed weekends, often a little too “peopley.” And it is a relief to get to Sunday evening, to pause, rest, and get into that somewhat resistant mindset of, “the weekend is over and Monday is looming.” My bones still remember with […]
Solo Traveling
I’m currently on a 4 day outing on the Oregon coast and typing this post up from my little teardrop trailer. On the drive out here on Wednesday, it occurred to me that I’m not really “camping” in the old sense of the word. No, I’m basically just traveling and living in my little home […]
A 2012 Facebook Post . . .
. . . how I’m doing on that list. Some 13 years past, the Facebook posts saved as “memories” are interesting to read. My Grandmother passed away at 83 on Holy Saturday. My Aunt Cissie passed away at 99 on Good Friday (April 6, 2012 at 5am). That leaves Easter Sunday for me at 105…when […]
Friendship is an Honor
Saturday, I had the pleasure of catching up with two of my friends from college. One friend lives locally but we don’t see each other nearly often as we should. My other friend lives in a coastal city out east. I hadn’t seen her in 3 years, but they hadn’t seen each other in 10 […]