A friend and I were recently talking about the touch deprivation experienced in widowhood. It’s one of those extra layers of loss that not everyone thinks about. But it reminds me of everyone touting the importance of skin-to-skin contact when a new baby is born. We use touch to express affection, and I don’t mean […]
Widowed Community
The Dance Crew
Last week, I spent 4 perfect days in Cabo with a handful of my widow friends. It takes a little more work to get to Mexico, so our entire crew wasn’t able to join for this one. But the 5 of us made the most of our time together. Contrary to what an outsider might […]
Ready, Set…
Lola and I are getting ready to embark on our annual trip West. By this time next week, I’ll be writing from the sunny but still relatively cool January environs of Tucson, Arizona. Meanwhile, speaking of travel, a disturbing update to last week’s post about the Osa Peninsula in Costa Rica. The New York Times […]
New Year. New Widow
My team at work kicks off the week with a quick meeting almost every Monday morning. It’s a quick 15-minute call where we cover the highlights of the upcoming week and who has a birthday or anniversary. Last week was our first one of the new year, and we all expected welcome back pleasantries. Instead, […]
What now?
What’s next for me? Mystery of seasons shows edge of winter waking; another turning. Before its return rising sun pauses unseen; as Life asks for more. A new year begs a plan. What’s next? it asks. What’s new, different, or ahead that’s waiting for me? Grief says, Hold on! Not so fast. […]
Starting the new year alone …
Well, actually the first day of 2026 found me waking up at 6am in my brother’s home in Tennessee. So I wasn’t alone at the very start of this new year – instead I was ending a lovely time with my family before heading to the Knoxville airport and my return to the desert. I […]
The Immeasurable Power of Gratitude
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” –Melody Beattie Gratitude snuck up on me today. Gratitude is a wily beast! It captured me in a google search and surrounded me in its giant warm hug. It came to me through a poem from Melody […]
One Chapter Closing, Another Opening
Many moons ago, I was a regular writer on the Widow’s Voice blog. In fact, in 2008, I was the only writer. My hope at the time was to offer a real, in-the-moment glimpse into widowed life as I was living it. After just a couple of weeks, it became clear that our community needed […]
Grief in Poetry
I was doing a little doom scrolling today and stumbled on a video that cut me to the quick. In the best and worst way, because that’s how grief works. The video was taken at the Happy Place Festival in the UK in August. It’s raining and a rainbow of streamers that decorate a tent […]
Season of Fall
Season of Dying “In Asian mysticism and Chinese medicine, Autumn is considered the season of Grief. While summer is associated with the emotion of joy, autumn is associated with both courage and sadness. If you are grieving, you can probably feel the truth of that association for yourself, because, in Autumn, things are dying.” — […]
What is a Bad*ss Widowed Person Anyway?
“Badass” (often stylized with an asterisk, like “bad*ss”) is an informal term referring to someone, typically a woman in recent contexts, who is tough, formidable, and indomitable, often in the face of adversity or to challenge norms. (AI Dictionary) What qualifies a widowed person as a bad*ss? A Bad*ss Widowed Person discerns when […]
Ready to Let Go of Tangible Reflections of their Love
Lynn was big on having (over the counter) meds on hand – allergy, flu, tummy ache, headache, etc. She had them organized in plastic bags that she carefully labeled with what they were for. I have struggled all these years with clutter cleaning, getting-rid-of, holding onto things until I am ready to let them go, […]