Image by Juliane Liebermann on Unsplash I receive – and devour – the daily poems of the poet and storyteller, Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer. I first came across her work through Megan Devine’s weekly and monthly prompts. As is the way of the world, once you come across someone’s work, you see it quoted in myriad […]
Widowed by Illness
Counting Trees While Swimming
Main Image by Laura Smetsers on Unsplash Yesterday I attempted to swim across Lac Léman/Lake Geneva at its widest point – Lausanne on the north shore, in Switzerland, to Evian, famed for its ubiquitous spring water, in France, on the south. It’s 13 km as the crow flies. And even when the weather is impeccable […]
The Grief Hangover
My widowed journey has been unique. The timeline delt to me kept me four years from the closure of Clayton’s funeral. This week has felt different, lighter but emotionally dizzy. Most of us deal with all the immediate emotional events within weeks but life decided to stretch mine out and this week I finally feel […]
Reasons to, Reasons not to
Images my own, July 2022 – Lake Geneva In a couple of days, I hope to swim across Lake Geneva at its widest point – Lausanne to Evian. 13 km. A smidge over 8 miles. As the crow flies. And I am neither a crow, nor am I flying. Instead, the wind seems to be […]
Growing Through Grief with Gratitude
Yesterday I felt like I hit the grief guardrail at 75 miles an hour. I knew it was coming and I knew I couldn’t turn fast enough. It was emotionally inevitable and, as much as I wanted to avoid it, I also have been needing it. It was an intimate group of family and friends […]
Greater Ease in Groups
Photos my own – Montenegro – Lake Skadar and Bay of Kotor What is it that makes it easier, harder, or even impossible, to integrate, to participate in, to engage with, to be “fit for human consumption” in, a group? Not even two months ago, I wrote about a very challenging time I had had […]
Back in Week Number One
Clayton, The buildup towards your funeral is tearing open wounds I thought were scared strong. I wrote about it last week and what has changed is the intensity and the heaviness. This all should have happened four years ago when the original storm hit. My grief timeline is so out of phase it’s uncharted waters. […]
Residual Trauma
Photo my own, from today – Our Lady of the Rocks, Kotor Bay, Montenegro I am not an expert in trauma, though I do try to keep up with the research and literature concerning how trauma affects the body, patterns of behaviour, transformation and healing. I try to keep up on what it means to […]
My Past in My Future
I don’t know how to navigate this. I don’t know how to balance out this future placed bereavement. I have been pressuring myself to “figure it out” because I feel overwhelmed by a lot in life right now. Something has to give or I’m going to crash. My daily routines are way off, and I’ve […]
WeWe – or Widows Encouraging Widows’ Exploits
Photo by Jonny Gios – Coniston Water – on Unsplash I have been in the/my Motherland – England – these past days. It’s been wonderful. And it’s been weird. Though as I write, I have just crossed the border into Scotland at Gretna Green, and will soon be level with Lockerbie – forever imprinted in […]
Another Layer to the Levels In Life
I’m happy to say that yesterday my boyfriend Devin and I got engaged! Yesterday I reached a new place in life that I have never been too before. Clayton and I never had the opportunity to get to this point. This weekend I am celebrating where my life has lead me, and the love that […]
Delegating, Abdicating, Collaborating, Co-Creating?
Photo of Julia’s Stones my own My next ten days are packed (packed for me, anyway). Quite a bit of work in the coming days. A dinner out with new-to-me-friends of Medjool’s. Some travel to England and then on to Scotland. (My first trip to the UK since before the world shut down in […]