I remember the day I drove home from the hospital up in Brunswick, Georgia, with the hard realization that Rich would never be walking up to our front door again. That is a sobering and defining moment. During the 3 weeks he’d spent in the ICU, each drive home was filled with a glimmer of […]
Widowed and Healing
Hiking With Some Friends Across Desert Mountains
It’s sunny and clear, but still cool on this late winter morning when Linda, Ross, and I arrive at the trailhead parking lot in Ross’ car. Lola and I were the first to arrive at Ross and Janet’s house; Bob and Linda arrive a few minutes later. While Bob and Janet remain behind for health […]
Transformation
Days of the “goo” were common, in the first days of grief in spring 2021. Goo refers to what happens to caterpillars after they close themselves up in a cocoon. They liquify and live in the liminal space of “no longer this” and “not yet that” — I relate to those words. The transformation that […]
Exercise as Self Care
Why is it so hard to prioritize ourselves and our health? Before Tony passed, I had started a workout routine that I enjoyed. It was the first time since having kids that I had started one and was sticking to it. The day he passed was the 79th day in a row that I had […]
March-ing Forth with The Memory Keepers
February was a busy time on several fronts. The local Art Gala that had taken months of committee work and preparation for me as an organizer and participating artist was a great success. The hard work, anxiety and anticipation over. Just a few days later, my brother and his wife arrived in Georgia for a […]
New Grief Group
Last week I started going to a grief group. It is led by the therapist I have been seeing for several months, and she encouraged me to join it. I was a little hesitant because I was not sure how helpful it will be, but I am feeling like I need the extra support. March […]
Working Woman Still
When Dan was alive he used to tell me I worked too hard. The word “work” mostly referred to one or another creative project in addition to my professional job. He was right. I don’t have great boundaries sometimes and the middle of the night, or the wee hours of the morning, are when I […]
Trains of Thought
One of the most significant milestones for those who find themselves widowed is dealing with the items that belonged to your spouse, or significant other. Some people handle that task soon after the death of their partner, others wait for months, if not years, before they can bring themselves to do it. Closets. Armoires. Desks. […]
Now What?
At last, we are in Tucson. Now what? Well, I do not have a specific agenda for the next two months, other than my fondest wish not to shovel so much as one speck of fallen snow. So far, so good. However, it’s been unseasonably cold, or so I’m told, far below the typical seasonal […]
A Story of Widowed Life
as told by the Nasturtiums Signs of spring are everywhere in Riverside, California. Today’s post is a story board, courtesy of a magical plant whose leaves are a story in and of themselves. Studying a nasturtium leaf brings to mind images of fairies hiding beneath, or tiny creatures using the leaf as an umbrella amid […]
Let’s Talk About Death Over Dinner
Image by Nadia Valko on Unsplash A couple of weeks ago I hosted a dinner where the sole focus was to talk about all things Death and Dying. (And Grief, because, heck, it’s inseparable). I had come across the concept of this kind of dinner during the months after Mike died, and decided, “Okay – […]
My Village
Yesterday I flew home from a five-day trip to Florida without the kids. Looking back on it, I realize how fortunate I am to have a support system that allowed me to go. My in-laws signed on early to the idea of keeping the boys for the entirety of my trip. Normally when I leave […]