Yesterday I flew home from a five-day trip to Florida without the kids. Looking back on it, I realize how fortunate I am to have a support system that allowed me to go.
My in-laws signed on early to the idea of keeping the boys for the entirety of my trip. Normally when I leave the kids for things like Camp Widow, I share the love and the kids spend a night or two with different family members bouncing around to different houses. So, this was a first for all of us. The kids packed their suitcases and most of the complaints were geared towards me going to the beach without them. Tony’s parents took the kids to the movies, bowling, their sports games and hunkered down when the weather turned icy. I’m sure they had too much sugar and Mountain Dew but that’s what grandparents are for. I talked to the boys a few times over the course of trip and there were zero complaints. I’m sure the days were a lot of work for my in-laws, because three boys are a lot sometimes. But it makes me happy they enjoy spending time together. As we all grieve the loss of our husband/father/son I’m glad we can do it while supporting each other.
I went to Florida to visit by parents who snow-bird there for three months. Last year, I took the kids there over spring break and when I walked in from our travels, I must have looked a bit disheveled. The first thing my mom said to me was, ‘Maybe you should come by yourself next time.’ Traveling with three kids can give you a crazed look and the desire for quiet time. That was all the spark I needed to get my wheels turning and how this trip came to be. I spent four full days with my parents. We went to the beach where I was able to read, take walks and just enjoy the view. They took me to some of their favorite hang outs where we had good drinks and seafood. One night we went out with their best friends and their daughter where we danced, laughed, and had an all-around good time. Even with all the good times, there was one evening where I was feeling a little grief-y. I cried and they hugged me. I think that’s a good representation of what we need as widows, be there to experience the joys but be a soft place to land when we need a good hug too.
Lastly, I couldn’t do this without good friends too. The day before I left town, I discovered the sump pump was spraying water in the wrong direction. I had a small basement geyser. A corner of the basement had a small but sizable about of water covering it. I sent my youngest down to fetch my neighbor and he was able to tighten a part down and fix the issue. He also helped me clear the area so it could dry out. While I was gone, he and his wife came over to check on things and make sure the fix held. They also took my trash out for me. Having friends within reach gives me so much peace of mind.
It really does take a village and I’m so grateful for all of them. They help me put down the armor of strength sometimes, allowing me space to put my feet in the softness of the sand. 
