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Working Woman Still

Posted on: February 28, 2023 | Posted by: Kathie Neff

woman at a desk using a laptop
Image courtesy of Christin Hume via unsplash.com

When Dan was alive he used to tell me I worked too hard.

The word “work” mostly referred to one or another creative project in addition to my professional job.

He was right.

I don’t have great boundaries sometimes and the middle of the night, or the wee hours of the morning, are when I do my best work.

A great deal of my work happens in my home. I am a Doula, a Childbirth Educator, and a Professional Trainer for Birth Workers. Except for face-to-face meetings, most of my work is online.

In the past ten days I had a interview with a possible client, four pre-natal meetings, two-and-a-half days conducting an online training, an in-person childbirth class, and two home visitations.

I hear my deceased husband saying, “Honey, you work too hard!”

I am lucky that I love the work I do, so to me it feels more akin to play than work. However, I am SO tired tonight, which brings me to something others call “keeping busy.”

When people hear this widow’s schedule, they often say, “Oh. It’s good that you’re keeping busy.”

No.

I am not creating busyness for myself.

I work to pay my bills.

I’m just lucky that I also love the work.

 

Tending to birthing families, and the folks who prepare them for birth, is making a contribution to birth in our culture; one family at a time.

Yes, honey, I am working hard.

Too hard….maybe this week….yes.

Which is why I am going to bed — right now.

 

Thanks for reminding me from afar the way you reminded me when you were here, babe.

This is me….calling Indy-dog:

“Hey! Time for bed!”

She trots, like a little deer, into my room.

 

Not a bad way to cap another ten days without you, hon.

“Keep going,” I tell myself.

It feels like I hear him say,

“Keep living your best life every day.”

I’m trying, babe.

I am 100% trying

to

do

just

that.

G’nite, love.

 

 

 

Categories: Newly Widowed, Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Signs from Loved One, Widowed by Illness

About Kathie Neff

Kathie Neff was widowed on April 15, 2021. She and her beloved husband, Dan, were high school sweethearts and enjoyed dancing and riding horses together. They lived in gratitude, hope and forgiveness for 50 years and nine months when Dan passed quietly late at night, surrounded by their seven children who, with Kathie, were caring for him in their family home.

Dan and Kathie have been a part of Camp Widow and Soaring Spirits International since its inception, as members of Michele Neff Hernandez’s cadre of helpers from the Neff family.

Kathie believes strongly in the strength and bond that is the gift of community and brings a heart of love for all who have been affected by death and dying.

Long live love. XO

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