When Dan was alive he used to tell me I worked too hard.
The word “work” mostly referred to one or another creative project in addition to my professional job.
He was right.
I don’t have great boundaries sometimes and the middle of the night, or the wee hours of the morning, are when I do my best work.
A great deal of my work happens in my home. I am a Doula, a Childbirth Educator, and a Professional Trainer for Birth Workers. Except for face-to-face meetings, most of my work is online.
In the past ten days I had a interview with a possible client, four pre-natal meetings, two-and-a-half days conducting an online training, an in-person childbirth class, and two home visitations.
I hear my deceased husband saying, “Honey, you work too hard!”
I am lucky that I love the work I do, so to me it feels more akin to play than work. However, I am SO tired tonight, which brings me to something others call “keeping busy.”
When people hear this widow’s schedule, they often say, “Oh. It’s good that you’re keeping busy.”
I am not creating busyness for myself.
I work to pay my bills.
I’m just lucky that I also love the work.
Tending to birthing families, and the folks who prepare them for birth, is making a contribution to birth in our culture; one family at a time.
Yes, honey, I am working hard.
Too hard….maybe this week….yes.
Which is why I am going to bed — right now.
Thanks for reminding me from afar the way you reminded me when you were here, babe.
This is me….calling Indy-dog:
“Hey! Time for bed!”
She trots, like a little deer, into my room.
Not a bad way to cap another ten days without you, hon.
“Keep going,” I tell myself.
It feels like I hear him say,
“Keep living your best life every day.”
I’m trying, babe.
I am 100% trying