by Joe Black The movie Meet Joe Black was made in the 90’s when it’s star, Brad Pitt, was only 34 years old. I’d seen the film once, but clearly did not recognize the deeper meanings. This time I was overcome by its layers of goodness. Why would an old film affect me so strongly? […]
Widowed and Healing
Birthday Grief
Each year Tony’s birthday seems to hit me differently. Some people say the first year after losing someone is a fog. I think it only looks that way in hindsight. The first year is an onslaught of pain; around every corner is a reminder, each turn of the calendar is a new first without. Looking […]
The Wonder of a Camp for Widowed People
Images of Past and Future Dear Widowed Peeps! Wednesday snuck up on me, so I am reposting a blog about attending my first Camp Widow, in correlation with a Camp Widow happening in this very moment, and throughout the weekend, in Toronto, Canada. The Camp Widow experience features the essence of the support offered to […]
True Story
In going through my archives, a memory of a New Jersey Holiday event brought a nostalgic moment. In my “past life” as a Full-time Working Artist, The Holly Berry Boutique held each year at the Upper Montclair Woman’s Club in Northern North Jersey was always a beloved occasion for me, my fellow artists, family and […]
Exploring What Might Help
Today I wish to offer three simple tools to help those of us who are having an especially “off” day. Three fresh ideas or strategies for your back pocket at the ready in advance of your need. Difficult days arrive out of nowhere for new widowed people, or long-time widowed people. […]
Bittersweet Reminiscence
Reminiscing is a blessing and a curse. The number of people who will ever know Tony is finite and that number will never be larger than it is today. I enjoy recounting stories with those who knew him well because we are usually sharing the memory. Even when I’m given the space, it’s harder to […]
Nervous Eating
Every day, I see small yellow and red leaves falling in the hundreds, relentless falling leaves coloring the lawn. The geese are gathering. Were they drawn together by chance to form the V-formations cutting across the Fall sky? Occasionally, I will hear them honking off in the distance. Robyn was first to spot the small, […]
Trusting Me
Which part of me do I trust? This is me in grief’s low spaces. Grief stricken. Broken. Vulnerable to pain. Feeling useless. What good is a broken bridge? Can I trust the broken parts of me? This is me in grief’s growing places. Evidence of my brokenness is visible. Yet I […]
“I want to give your kids the world.”
As the twins’ birthday trip nears I have found myself caught in a whirlwind of emotions. More so than normal. Any time I’m getting ready for a trip I find myself thinking of Erik more often than I already do. So why do I continue to do it? Because traveling also makes me feel closest […]
Future Inquiries
“Are we going to get a stepdad?” my then 7-year-old asked me. It had been less than one month since Tony died. Like all deep questions posed by children, this one was at bedtime. It was a question for which I was unprepared. I do remember stumbling through an answer. If my widow memory is […]
Cones of Uncertainty
I thank Mary Moore Hughes for posting for me last Saturday. Living in Central Florida, we’d found ourself twice in a brief span of time in what is called The Cone of Uncertainty, and uncertainty it does bring. Being without internet made it impossible for me to post and I asked Mary to present a […]
Reel Therapy Repeat is Still Good Medicine
What is Reel Therapy? Gary Solomon’s popular book of the same name suggests that movies can be a therapeutic tool for our lives. A friend of mine gave me this book a long time ago and I pulled it out recently with an instinct that it might be helpful. “In order for cinema therapy to […]