Having lunch with a friend the other day, one who knows me well and knew Mike, I told her: I feel like a completely different person now. Four year later, the only things that remain the same here in Kona are the friends we knew together, my two dogs, and the house I shared with Mike, though its innards are greatly changed now too. And soon, no…
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This New Year of Mine~
I just passed the 4-year mark of Chuck’s death. This year blew me to pieces. Every year does, honestly, but this year…wow. I went to work the day after, but lasted for only 2 hours, at which point it seemed like my choices were go home or run screaming from the store. Mentally and emotionally, I was so done. Mostly, I push my way…
Happy 6th Birthday
Today is my son Jacobs 6th birthday. Birthdays are always different now. I do my best to give the kids what they want and celebrate but there’s a hole. Someone is missing. How can you celebrate the birth of your child without their daddy. I just don’t know if it will ever be the same. Jacobs 4th birthday was the last one Joey was apart of. I don’t…
Tu Me Manques…in Every Language~
What do I do with this 4-year mark? This Friday will be 4 years since I leaned over and gently kissed the lips of my dead husband, after watching him suffocate. After he died, I bathed him, with the aid of our 2 girls. Then we dressed him in his street clothes. I didn’t want his body going into the body bag by itself and I remembered that I…
The Day You Died,
I recently read a well written piece called “On the day I die” I thought it was beautiful, it resonated with me and gave me inspiration for my own piece of writing. The day you died, I knew you were gone but I waited for you. In a haze of disbelief and shock I waited for you to walk up to me. Minutes and hours ticked over with family and…
The Duality of Widowhood
The definition of the word “duality” is as follows: 1. the quality or condition of being dual 2. an instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something; a dualism. “the photographs capitalize on the dualities of lightness and dark, stillness and movement.” I think it is more than safe to say that every widowed…
It’s Simple, Really~
I pause and think sometimes often as to the pressures put upon those who grieve. Upon widow/ers, certainly, though I know it pertains to pretty much anyone who grieves. The griefers, as I call them us. What pressures? you might ask, though I know if you’re a widow/er, you know exactly what I’m talking about.Oh, you know…the pressures put…
You Would Be Proud of Me If You Weren’t Dead
So, one week ago today, on March 31st, in NYC, in a big giant concert hall and an even bigger audience watching the online live-stream, I was one of 11 speakers, chosen to give a TED talk, at the TEDx event, held at Adelphi University. My talk was titled: “When Someone You Love Dies, There Is No Such Thing As Moving On”, and it was all about how we…
Months of Meaning~
The number 4 figures loudly and persistently for me this year. The month of March figures just as hugely. The end of May rings loudly in my heart too. Chuck and I lived on the road, adventuring in our Happily Homeless travels, for 4 years. In those 4 years, we traveled all of the lower 48 states and oh, the sights we saw. I saw places and…
Dear new widows,
About a month ago a woman, with whom I worked briefly, experienced the death of her son by suicide. I did not reach out to her until last week. I wanted to, but I also knew she was being bomb barded with emails texts and phone calls. When I did write to her, I just wrote the truth, the raw very un-pc truth. I did not expect a response; I just hoped…
Kelley Lynn at TedX
Dearest Friends: Today I will stand before an audience of thousands and deilver my TEDx talk titled: “When Someone You Love Dies, There Is No Such Thing As Moving On.” The talk is a message for everyone. Not just widowed people – everyone. It is about love and loss, and the way that we, as a society, mishandle the language and behaviors we…
Writing From the Depths of my Heart~
My dearest love, my beloved husband. D. It’s 4 years since you and I drove to the ER at Eisenhower Medical Center in Palm Springs. It is now 4 years since you and I began our final Happily Homeless travels, travels that began on a sunny May day in NJ in 2009, as you got into the UHaul truck with the few of our belongings that we’d kept…