Thats how my brain feels right now. Like a jumbled up fog.
Its messy inside there. Nothing is organized.
Thoughts are not linear or neatly cataloged.
Will they ever be again? I dont know.
It often feels as though my brain has been hijacked.
This one I have been left with isn’t as adventurous, or as confident, or as knowledgeable.
This brain feels more awkward and insecure.
It hasnt quite found its voice.
And in the midst of deep grief, nine years in, it sometimes feels as if time is standing silent.
Waiting for me to speak.
But I dont know what to say.
When Don first died, there was all these people,
who didnt know what to say.
Now, nine years later,
I dont know what to say, or what to make of it all, or how to go forward correctly,
Its a weird feeling.
And its a jumbled mess.
And life will never again be simple.
But its life,
and Im thankful to be living it.