Bob and Linda made it out to Tucson from Ohio last year. I wrote a piece, “Putting the Band Back Together,” describing their visit. I suspect what I wrote at the time will in the relevant part still apply today: “This week has featured non-stop socializing. For one week, my dear friends, Bob and Linda, […]
Blog
Why I Return
to the Work of Grieving Grief work feels overwhelming. It takes courage to step toward the work with all the feelings in the way. Sadness that our person is not there. The strange dance of feeling hope and then feeling hopeless. I’m almost 4 years in now and I think the overwhelm is a normal […]
The Dark Day
A repost as we head into March! As we have now entered the dark month I find myself significantly more anxious during my days, more than I have been for a while. I feel like I have been trying so hard to not live in the days of 2022 leading to that dark day. It […]
What is in the Fridge
Last week I ordered a new refrigerator to replace the one Tony, and I purchased when our oldest was a toddler. It’s just an appliance, but that fridge has moved with us and been in my kitchen for about 14 years. Over the weekend I cleaned behind and under the old one. I found reminders […]
Spay it Forward
Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of my mother’s passing. On February 21st last year, I was on my way up north to what I’d hoped would be some quiet final moments with her as her condition had worsened and she’d been released to the care of my brother John’s family in New York State. But, […]
Eras, Part III
It’s kind of wild to think that I’ve lived in Oregon now for just 2 years shy of 20. It literally seems like last week that Mario and I left our apartment in Orange County, CA is our green, Kia Sportage with our computers and our cat. The moving truck had just picked up all […]
Recycling History
During her recent visit to Tucson, Robyn mentioned that she was scheduled to take a medical test once she returned home. She was upset by the prospect and visibly concerned. Thankfully, it seems she is okay. Of course, it’s natural to feel the way Robyn was feeling. The worry that comes with the suspense of […]
Second career? Or Signs of Sanity?
The Accidental Skills-Course of Widowhood My husband passed away in April 2021 and since then I’ve been in charge of household mishaps, maintenance, and acts of God such as wind, rain, storm, and hail. I’ve also inherited the requirements of a thing that may have been my husband’s biggest challenge: my big ideas. When we […]
Application to Milestones
Here we are at yet another milestone, which I find myself doing alone. I have been in full-on preparation mode for the last two weeks as I get ready for the twins’ kindergarten open enrollment. Even though I had spent some time prepping and doing research last year, it didn’t hit me as hard as […]
Valentine Kindness
This was my fourth Valentine’s Day without a Valentine. It was never a huge holiday for us but that doesn’t mean it’s not a reminder of grief. Seeing the advertisements still remind you that your partner is gone, even if you would never buy them whatever it is they are selling. It’s another small way […]
Snow Again
Another Valentines Day has come and gone, this time I am single, widowed, AND divorced! Its the trifecta of “ways to have a crappy V.Day!” However, a good widow friend and I had made plans to go to Maine and have a girls weekend where we pampered ourselves, sat by the indoor pool, and got […]
Happy Adoptiversary, Jackson!
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. For the widowed, it can be a day as emotionally charged as anniversaries, holiday and birthdates. No matter where you are in your ongoing recovery process, these events can amp up feelings because they serve up so many memories. A year ago, my partner David, a major dog-lover, and I, welcomed […]