I’m sitting here in my parent’s beautiful backyard on this kind of surprisingly balmy early fall evening in Virginia wondering what on earth I can say about what’s going on in my life right now. How can I describe the agony of change and decision and helplessness while keeping private things private? How can I honestly tell my dear fellow widows…
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Long Live Love~
In the before moments As you hold tight while trying to let go Waiting for that last breath Dreading that last breath Holding your breath waiting for that last breath Gasping in your breath as he exhales his last breath Long Live LoveAs you sit and stand and pace and stare Wondering at this new world of without With only your breath in it Where…
Halfway There
Next week, I’ll be 36 years old. I had my first job at 15 years old, joined the Marine Corps at 17, was discharged at 22, and began working in the civilian world immediately thereafter. I was married at 24, a father at 26, and a widower at 34. For 21 years, almost two thirds of my life, I’ve been working, playing, learning, and growing.
Key West or Bust
May 15th, 2015 is a day I will never forget. I was supposed to be on a plane headed to Key West. This was going to be our best trip yet. We had the whole long weekend planned out. Two of our best friends were going with us. It was going to be an epic unforgettable trip. But as life would have it I instead stood in front of about 300 people and gave…
Mending Furniture & Hearts
I’ve had a couple of really beautiful, full-circle moments recently. The sort that have reminded me in such sweet ways how totally interconnected my old life and my life now still and always are. This past week, we finally got my couch moved into Mike’s house from the garage. And by my couch, I really mean Drew’s. I have been dragging this…
The Strongest I have Been
The day began with tears. Its brutally unfair were my thoughts. He should be here! Where is he? My stomach in tight knots I felt physically ill. He would have been 30. The day was spent with family. Reminiscing and sharing stories. Keeping busy, we laughed, we ate, and we supported each other. Sending balloons up into the clouds the physically sick…
Transitions
I just ended a relationship with someone I had been seeing for about 4 months. Like me, he is widowed, and I met him on a dating site. I guess you could say we “broke up.” Is that still what the kids call it these days? I have no idea. I didn’t word it that way when I ended things between us. The phrase “breaking up” almost sounds too childish and…
Rapid Fire
I’m not sure how long I will be able to continue to write here at Widow’s Voice. It breaks my heart to think that, and to write that, but various things are moving at a seriously rapid pace and I can barely keep up. I hired an attorney to walk me through the foreclosure. And I’ve already purged a lot of my stuff so hopefully that process…
A Different On the Road Again~
I’m on the road again. This time it was from Jersey, south to Maryland. Every piece of the road, every rest stop, every billboard, every bridge…all were familiar to me. Chuck and I drove this route our second year out as Happily Homeless, as we made our way to Key West for the first time. Our red Ford Escape and miles to go, absorbing the…
An Agreement with Death
Hey readers! I’m filling in for Mike today, as he had something come up and was unable to write. He’ll be back with us next Tuesday, so until then, I’m here to wander through some of my own thoughts of late and see what bubbles up… Mike and I have spent the past few months moving all my things to his place, as many of you know. After a…
Because of the Love that came Before
Yesterday was one of the most beautiful and hope-filled days I have been a part of since I began this entire widowed journey. We were in the woods, standing tall in the trees, three widowed people and a little girl who lost her mother. The setting itself was magic, and made even more-so when we heard of the significance of that place. For our…
Day Of Birth
Day of birth. A day to celebrate life, at least it use to be. The person I was prior to grief made a big fuss over birthdays. Now I only wish I could fast forward past the day all together. Escape the impending date somehow. He would have turned 30. I would have thrown a surprise party, filling our home with orange helium balloons, but more than…