So, you’ve decided to begin dating a widow. You met this person online, in a bar, through a mutual friend, or via an interest group of some sort. You may have met by chance at a convention, or at a singles night nearby. The point is, when you met that person, you didn’t necessarily know them as a widow. Disclaimer: I met Sarah at Camp…
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Widow Speak~
There really is no explaining it In words that either convey or make sense to anyone WIDOW The depths of the word change daily and minute by minute Depending on the day or the minute In the beginning, it means devastation conflagration incineration annihilation Each of those feeling remain or don’t Depending on the day or the minuteIt’s going…
Learning to Celebrate Again
Ever since Joey and I started dating we always celebrate the holidays, we did them big! Halloween was always one of our favorites we would always dress up together and once we had children we made it a family affair. Christmas was always big in our house as well. Lots of decorations and family activities. This time of year was just always very…
Life Lessons from Haunted Places
I have always loved Halloween. Drew and I both did. We were always sure to find the biggest and best haunted houses to go to each year. We spent weeks on our costumes, making everything by hand. We’d go out to parties in character and win costume contests, and enjoy the whole experience of it all. Since his death, each year, I think I have come…
Ticking Clock
I vividly remember logging onto Facebook and staring at his messenger icon hoping he would come online. That it was all a misunderstanding and it wasn’t real. Last active… The hours ticked over into days, then into weeks. Now it has almost been 11 months. Remembering it as though it were yesterday. Today I still feel the longing, waiting and…
Its My Anniversary, and My Husband Is Dead
Today is my wedding anniversary.October 27, 2006.It is late at night now, and I have gone through the entire day,of my anniversary,alone.Without my husband. This would have been our 10-year anniversary.An entire decade together.All the things that might have happened,in those 10 years. The house we might have searched for together,and bought.Or the…
What Matters In The End
Most of you who have been reading here for awhile know how my husband died. Mike had a heart attack in his sleep at age 59. It was the most devastating shock I’ve ever lived through and I will spend the rest of my life recovering from it. The pain of that grief, I know now, will always be there.But you readers also know, if you have been following,…
Apples to Oranges
I’ve known Sarah now for almost two years. In that span of time, we met, at Camp Widow, began dating, she moved to Ohio, and has since moved in, officially, with Shelby and I. She’s been here in Ohio for one year, as of yesterday. That means that we’re getting into that phase where we are saying “last year, we did this” or “do…
Living his list
So I did it. I made it to Key West, honestly I didn’t know if I would. It didn’t seem like it would ever be reality, it would just always be this far away dream that I could never really grasp. Leading up to the trip, even just writing a pre Key West blog, I did not allow myself to be excited. I didn’t want to jinx anything. But we landed…
Celebrating the Tiny Victories
This week, I went to the art museum by myself. This was a really big deal, or at least, I am deciding it is. Since moving to Ohio, I’ve been reluctant to get out on my own. I have only a handful of places I can even drive to without having to use a map to get me there. The shopping center by the house, the post office, the fancy grocery store 10…
I’m Sorry
Do not tell me time will heal because I beg to differ. Instead time only allows you to become use to grief.If you care that much, than say to me.I’m sorry.I’m sorry I don’t have the words to ease your pain.I’m sorry you ever had to hear the words “he’s gone”. I’m sorry for those words that brought you to scream, the words that…
It’s Back Again, But You’re Not Here ….
This week, for reasons too complicated to get into here, I released a piece on my personal grief blog, sharing that 20 years ago this year, in the middle of the night, in my apartment, I was raped. (if you want to understand more about that post or why I chose to speak up about it now, you can find it at www.ripthelifeiknew.com, or all over my…