Over the past four years grief and I have reluctantly become friends. Grief is not the kind of friend I can call in the middle of the night when I am sad, but rather the kind of friend who sits quietly at the end of my bed while I cry myself to sleep. Grief may be away for weeks or even months at a time, but the knock of this friend is now as…
widowed perspective
Choosing Hope
“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” ~Christopher Reeve There was a time, not really that long ago, when I did not want to choose hope. Possibility was a word that applied to other people, so why would I care about hope?To take that thought a step farther, hope seemed to be a betrayal. What could I hope for? Healing, ugh. Happiness, not…
Bring It on Year 3!!
So the 2 year mark has come and passed. In one 24 hour period I am starting on another year in this new world I live in. As the angelversary arrives people always seem to ask how I’m doing (Go figure), then the day arrives and it seems as if it was the build up to the day which was the worse. Then the day comes, and it seems like any other day in a…
My Cat Sophie
Every day I get up at 5 AM, put on my bathrobe and head to the kitchen where I make my first cup of good, strong, coffee. Cup in hand, I return to my bed, slide between the covers and sip, doing my best to make my coffee last as long as possible. I love this time of day. It feels decadent to do nothing but ponder the hours ahead. Now that it is…
To Survive…
It feels as though it doesn’t take much to get me tired these days. I could be doing the same tasks I did before, only now, it takes everything out me. I’m exhausted to the core. Emotionally, I’m fine. Physically, I’m spent. I wonder if it’ll always be like this… If it’ll always take quadruple the strength to get through a day and all that it…
Just thinking ….
Hi everyone! It’s good to be back and I’m thankful to Colleen for taking over for me while I was gone. Interestingly enough, she and I share the same anniversary. It was my second without Jim and I’m not gonna lie…. it was tough. But I’m still here. And that’s something.Anyway….. I was just writing to a friend and we were both talking about…
An Opportunity to be…
Grayson and I watched the movie “Evan Almighty” this weekend. I’ve seen it once before, but a certain scene really struck me this time. Morgan Freeman, as God, is explaining to a woman how prayers work. “If you pray for patience, God does not GIVE you patience, but gives you the OPPORTUNITY to be patient.” I went to bed with thoughts of my own…
Worth
On May 29th my little girl graduated from High School. The ceremony took place in a beautiful garden with an audience full of proud family and friends and an air of hope for the future all around. My mind drifted back to a time in my own life when naivety and optimism were companions I knew well.As with most milestones post 8/31/05 there was a…
The DVD
Checking the mail. A routine that we all have, some everyday, others a couple of times a week. Today was one of the moments that interrupted an action I did for society’s sake. I opened my box to find a package. As soon as I saw who the sender was I knew it was from our wedding. I did not know there was video until after Michael was killed, for…
Our “Invincible Summers”
Last week when I was posting to this blog I saw the following quote in the right hand column of the Widows Voice website. “In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” Albert Camus Albert Camus died in 1960. His life was not easy. His father died when he was an infant and he was raised in extreme…
A Life Altered
Still, I am taken back when someone in David’s life has just learned of his death. How could they not have known??! Shouldn’t anyone who had ever come in contact with him during his life have felt the earth pause the moment he passed away? As if the earth should have been altered if he no longer walked upon it. Dramatic, I know. It’s the best…
What Friends Are For
I’ve spent the holiday weekend in Cali with the other Michele and head back to Texas today. Although the weekend has been packed with activities (sushi night out, a long and beautiful walk, visits with family, a day at the beach, etc.), we’ve managed to cram in some fantastic talks and some really great quality time.In one of our many…