I started to write something to honor the men we have lost in recognition of Memorial Day. Then I realized that I couldn’t write anything more poignant or beautiful than what Nicole has already posted. And so I am re-posting her Thursday post with this addition…there are no words of thanks that adequately honor the sacrifices made by the men and…
widowed perspective
On My Way……
On my way to North Carolina, to sit next to a widowed fiancée who called our hotline and wanted another widow by her side, I stopped in Atlanta. With all the travels I’ve been doing the past year I have come to terms with the face that I will see numerous amounts of men and women in ACUs. Today was the same. As I stood at the gate my ACU radar…
Ouch
I have been on my back for the last 3 weeks or so, nursing an inflamed sacroiliac joint. What a pain! Literally. Every turn and twist, every journey to the bathroom (all of 25 painful feet) and every trek to the kitchen elicits mild and not-so-mild expletives. Thankfully, my daughter is in school and the walls are my only witness. Of course, lots…
My Inner Voice
Decision making has never been difficult for me. If asked to choose between one thing and another I pick one, and stick with my decision. When facing a challenging task I determine a course of action and get moving. When a problem appears unsolvable…I go for a run, and nine times out of ten come back with an answer. And then came widowhood. One…
The Roadless Traveler
I woke up Sunday morning, made the coffee, walked out on the back porch and listened to the birds. It was so peaceful outside and for about 30 seconds I enjoyed it. My brain wouldn’t be quiet though and the peaceful moment disappeared. I was feeling very anxious, melancholy, and uncertain, but couldn’t pinpoint the cause. I tried to quiet my mind…
Innocence and Storytelling
This is my four year-old nephew Ethan posing with his beloved cousin Caitlin. Yesterday we celebrated several family events with a day at the park. In a quiet moment Ethan and I had a conversation that went like this…. E: Auntie Neechelle, where is your husband? M: Well E, my husband was your Uncle Phil and he died when you were just a baby.
The Fire
The other night I was excited to be watching a new episode of “Grey’s Anatomy”. As odd as it sounds, I always know something in the show will make me tear up, whether I can relate to it or not. It’s almost like watching “Extreme Home Makeovers”….I always end up crying at the reveal. Well this episode of “Grey’s” was no exception, and I sat on my…
Regrets?
I’ve been thinking about regrets a lot lately. Not about Jim and me. No way. He knew that he was seriously loved and adored …… as did I. I have no regrets about us and our marriage, other than it wasn’t long enough ….. not by a long shot. This past weekend was our youngest child’s (Son #3) Confirmation. This was our first…
Unimaginable
My life path has never included poverty. Or prejudice. Or destitution. Or the feeling that my current life position was all I could ever expect. Overall, I have been greatly blessed. I live in a country where widows are able to inherit, own property, pursue a career, and manage their own affairs. Though prior to my introduction to the global state…
Good(?) Grief
Dear Wonderful Widows! Clients often ask me if I can recommend books – books that will help them understand their grief and help them feel less alone. There are many such books available.I don’t know about you, but when I was a new widow I was unable to concentrate long enough to read much of anything so I needed books that were easy to read and…
Things Change …..
… whether you want them to or not. I mean —- obviously, right? I decided to carry forward with both Michele’s post and Michelle’s post. After Jim died I never considered removing my wedding rings. Never. I felt it would be on my finger forever. And for many, many months it was. And then one day ….. that feeling changed. I know that I am still…
My Favorite Trail
Long Canyon Trail, in my hometown of Simi Valley, is one of my favorite places. This beautiful dirt road has been pounded by my feet on many a run. It is also the place where Phil and I most often rode our mountain bikes, went for evening runs, took the kids for night hikes looking for frogs, and did many a “double workout” on the steep hills that…