I have learned, when Anneke travels, to relax a bit. I only seem to get anxious and hyper the day she returns. While she is gone, I am resigned to the fact that she is there, and I am here and I might as well just chill. Since I have no choice.But the morning of the day she is to come home, I am high strung and anxious, and a pain to be around I am…
widowed perspective
Wanting
David is my best friend. And I say is because he’s still the one person that knows everything about me – good and bad. He’s still the one person I want to call when things go wrong, the one person I want to get advice from when I have decisions to make, and the one person I want a hug from when my heart is heavy. This week I really needed my best…
Starting Over
Have you ever had the urge to just get in your car one day and drive as far away as you could, leaving everyone and everything behind? Just start over where no one knows you? Where no one …… KNEW you? I’m guessing that many of you have because of all you’ve gone through. I’m wondering if anyone has actually done it.That’s the kind of week I’m…
Making New Footprints (continued)
Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans? Well I do. 🙂 I’m missing New Orleans right now. My stomach is missing it especially, OMG did we have some amazing meals last weekend in that city. But, better than the food, we made some amazing memories.My little guy fell in love with the city and can’t wait to go back. I was a little worried that…
Willing To Jump
This photo was taken at Lake Mead in Nevada about two weeks before Phil died. We were on a family vacation with some wonderful friends, and spent some time in a gorgeous cove. You are looking at Phil and my daughter, Caitlin, preparing to jump off of those rocks into the lake below. Notice that I am not up on the rocks.Phil was Mr. Adventure. He…
Journey
I know you are expecting me to talk about some kind of emotional journey right now. But this time I mean the band Journey. Eighties sensation; soundtrack to many of the moments of my youth; authors of some of the best love songs ever…THAT Journey!My son Johnny turned 17 on August 5th. Life has been so crazy lately (widow conference anyone??) that…
On Cruise Control
Lately, I’ve felt as if I’ve been on cruise control. It was turned on, set, and smooth sailing from that point on. Now while many would say how fantastic that may be after sailing roughly through the squalls of widowhood, the calm waters actually make me uneasy. The irony in this realization can’t stop me from snickering and letting out a laugh.For…
Finally…
Yep – that’s me at the steering thingy, getting ready to park the boat. I mean moor it or anchor it or whatever it was that we were doing. Anyhow, it finally happened. Our first fight. On the boat. Our first honest-to-goodness fight. After it was over, and we had both listened, (at least I think I listened), I said to him “Wasn’t that great? We had…
Another First …..
…. with less waves and more new memories. At least for today. And that’s how I take my days ….. one at a time.Today I drove with Daughter #3 to Austin (after a very full, very tiring day) to help her move into and get settled in her new apartment. This is something that I should have done with Jim …. but ….. you know the end of that story.
Still human…
I arrived back home (Cape Cod) from my vacation and the Conference on Widowhood late last night and went straight to bed, more tired than tired. This morning I got up and took a look around. The grass needed to be mowed, the garden needed to be weeded, and the house had a layer of fine dust that I couldn’t see but I knew was there. My desk was…
The Freedom To Be
Overheard in the hotel check-in line at the San Diego Marriott…”Did you hear that there is a WIDOWS conference here in the hotel this weekend?” The unspoken next line was most likely, who would want to go to a widows conference? Ugh. And don’t we look miserable? ;)Convincing people that this weekend would not be a downer was one of the most…
Old Things
I’ve long had a fascination of things from the past…things with a history. I can rummage for hours through an antique story, thinking of the stories that lay behind each piece, and the lives that created them. I love to feel old pieces of furniture or read old postcards and then in my mind weaving a tale for those who sat on it’s cushions or…