Through 179 blog posts. The image says life is the best story, to which I say, Yes. I believe that is true because death is a part of life. Dying inside happens repeatedly after realizing our person is never coming back. Living again is something we learn to do, small step by small […]
Widowed Milestones
Signs From Nashville
Last weekend I went to Nashville for a belated birthday trip. One of my best friends from college and I flew in to meet there. The trip was for us, but I knew it would bear reminders of Tony at every turn. I enjoy some country music and prefer the 90’s era from my high […]
Restoration and Renewal
I don’t think there’s been a time in my life when I’ve been so caught up in so many projects simultaneously and I no longer seem to have a measure of time. It was a Facebook Memory from my archives that made me realize that it was earlier this week that I’d moved to this […]
Birthday Grief
Each year Tony’s birthday seems to hit me differently. Some people say the first year after losing someone is a fog. I think it only looks that way in hindsight. The first year is an onslaught of pain; around every corner is a reminder, each turn of the calendar is a new first without. Looking […]
Living Lighter
While I write this, I’m currently staying in Southeast Georgia, continuing to clean out my home that is currently listed for sale. I love this spacious sunny space, the Dream Home purchased with my late husband, Rich, back in in 2020. The continuing process of “Letting Go” is difficult. In some ways, it seems even […]
The Wonder of a Camp for Widowed People
Images of Past and Future Dear Widowed Peeps! Wednesday snuck up on me, so I am reposting a blog about attending my first Camp Widow, in correlation with a Camp Widow happening in this very moment, and throughout the weekend, in Toronto, Canada. The Camp Widow experience features the essence of the support offered to […]
True Story
In going through my archives, a memory of a New Jersey Holiday event brought a nostalgic moment. In my “past life” as a Full-time Working Artist, The Holly Berry Boutique held each year at the Upper Montclair Woman’s Club in Northern North Jersey was always a beloved occasion for me, my fellow artists, family and […]
Bittersweet Reminiscence
Reminiscing is a blessing and a curse. The number of people who will ever know Tony is finite and that number will never be larger than it is today. I enjoy recounting stories with those who knew him well because we are usually sharing the memory. Even when I’m given the space, it’s harder to […]
“I want to give your kids the world.”
As the twins’ birthday trip nears I have found myself caught in a whirlwind of emotions. More so than normal. Any time I’m getting ready for a trip I find myself thinking of Erik more often than I already do. So why do I continue to do it? Because traveling also makes me feel closest […]
Reel Therapy Repeat is Still Good Medicine
What is Reel Therapy? Gary Solomon’s popular book of the same name suggests that movies can be a therapeutic tool for our lives. A friend of mine gave me this book a long time ago and I pulled it out recently with an instinct that it might be helpful. “In order for cinema therapy to […]
Imagining Life Today
Perspective. Do you ever have trouble getting your head around the fact that your person is not here? I pause when typing those words because what does “not here” even mean? Not here, even when I can call him up in my mind in a millisecond? Not here, when his footprints show up on the […]
The Impossible Question
Lately, I’ve been really struggling with figuring out an answer to “the question”. The question that I keep dreading in the back of my head each day. The question that the twins keep asking more and more of as the days go by. What happened to Daddy? As they get older I feel the anxiety […]