and a Camp named Widow “Camp Widow is a gathering for widowed people by widowed people. Over the course of three days, attendees speak candidly about death, forge connections with others over shared experiences of loss, and find ways to navigate the tricky waters of grief. Founded by Michele Neff Hernandez, who suddenly became a […]
Widowed Milestones
Springing Forward Step By Step
My last two posts have been a little heavy with the sharing of the anniversaries of the passing of my sister and mother. It helps to share their losses, but in doing so, I’m also celebrating and honoring their places in my life and keeping those memories alive for others. With warmer temperatures (even here […]
Why Speak of it?
Why Speak of Them? Does it matter? As a widow of nearly four years, I wonder how many widowed people just tough-it-out and don’t reach out for help during their early days of widowhood. Or, perhaps they do, but they keep it private. It is possible to have professional grief therapy, counseling, or pastoral care […]
To my Erik,
In two weeks it will be three years since you took your last breath. So much has changed since you’ve been gone, yet sometimes it feels as if it was still just yesterday. I still very much feel as if I’m in survival mode. Each day I put on a brave face for the twins […]
What is in the Fridge
Last week I ordered a new refrigerator to replace the one Tony, and I purchased when our oldest was a toddler. It’s just an appliance, but that fridge has moved with us and been in my kitchen for about 14 years. Over the weekend I cleaned behind and under the old one. I found reminders […]
Spay it Forward
Yesterday marked the one-year anniversary of my mother’s passing. On February 21st last year, I was on my way up north to what I’d hoped would be some quiet final moments with her as her condition had worsened and she’d been released to the care of my brother John’s family in New York State. But, […]
Second career? Or Signs of Sanity?
The Accidental Skills-Course of Widowhood My husband passed away in April 2021 and since then I’ve been in charge of household mishaps, maintenance, and acts of God such as wind, rain, storm, and hail. I’ve also inherited the requirements of a thing that may have been my husband’s biggest challenge: my big ideas. When we […]
Application to Milestones
Here we are at yet another milestone, which I find myself doing alone. I have been in full-on preparation mode for the last two weeks as I get ready for the twins’ kindergarten open enrollment. Even though I had spent some time prepping and doing research last year, it didn’t hit me as hard as […]
Valentine Kindness
This was my fourth Valentine’s Day without a Valentine. It was never a huge holiday for us but that doesn’t mean it’s not a reminder of grief. Seeing the advertisements still remind you that your partner is gone, even if you would never buy them whatever it is they are selling. It’s another small way […]
Happy Adoptiversary, Jackson!
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. For the widowed, it can be a day as emotionally charged as anniversaries, holiday and birthdates. No matter where you are in your ongoing recovery process, these events can amp up feelings because they serve up so many memories. A year ago, my partner David, a major dog-lover, and I, welcomed […]
On St. Valentine’s Day
A Valentine of the One Left Behind What does one do about Valentine’s day If you are the one left behind? It feels pretty wretched when February returns and Saint Valentine’s Day marks time. “Remember when we went to Running Springs?” I ask, recalling the cabin’s surprise. “When you mused about dead flowers in bowls […]
The Art of Being Nowhere
I thank the many who reached out last week to help me honor the birthday of my late husband, Rich. I won’t reveal his age because he will haunt me. When I met Rich he was just turning 50. He and I participated in a large and very popular art event and fundraiser each year […]