Today I opened an assignment one of my kids participated in for school. The question posed to these middle schoolers was: If you had to choose one magic power for the rest of your life, what would it be? Why would you choose this power? This assignment was completed on a discussion board of sorts, […]
Widowed by Suicide
Faded Marks
You know those restaurants that give you sharpies to write on the walls? So, you are encouraged to leave your mark on the establishment. We have one of those places close by. For awhile it was a staple breakfast spot for our family. It was a place that Tony loved. The food was over the […]
September
September is Suicide Prevention Month, and the 10th, is World Suicide Prevention Day. Over the years my attitude towards these attempts to bring awareness has evolved. In a lot of ways, it has transformed with my grief. The first year, it made me angry. Prevention? Seriously? How could I have prevented something he kept hidden […]
Curiosity of 5 Year Olds
“Are you going to die, Mama?” Those words cut through me like a knife as my entire body went motionless. I looked at that sweet face that was looking back at me, not realizing the impact her question had on me. My mind blanked for a second, not knowing how to answer back, and then […]
An Insightful Gift
Last weekend I got to spend time with one of Tony’s best guy friends. He was the best man at our wedding level bestie and someone we have both been friends with since high school. We don’t get to see each other often because life is busy when you each have 3 kids at home. […]
“I want to give your kids the world.”
A repost! As the twins’ birthday trip nears I have found myself caught in a whirlwind of emotions. More so than normal. Any time I’m getting ready for a trip I find myself thinking of Erik more often than I already do. So why do I continue to do it? Because traveling also makes me […]
Dead People Everywhere
It’s easy to get caught up in our own losses and forget that death impacts everyone. You look around at the grocery store and think you are the only widow buying hamburgers you’ll probably burn again. At the Dr’s office, it’s easy to assume the rest of the dads are at work. On vacation, every […]
Making Lemonade
It’s been 2 weeks, and I have been a bad widow, off doing widow things with this widow brain of mine. Week 1 totally spaced the Monday blog duty. Week 2, forgot to email and ask for a repost since I was out of town. Bad widow brain. Right before school started, I took the […]
Summer of Daddy
Lately, the twins have been mentioning Daddy more often than usual. It started with Wyatt wanting to look at picture books of him each night for their bedtime story. Then, during nap time the other day, Charlotte was mumbling ‘daddy, daddy’ in her sleep and woke up crying. And lately, they have been singing the […]
Redesigning Home
Recently I had the urge to make updates around the house. However, I lost my favorite handyman when I lost Tony. (Spoiler alert, it was him.) Hiring someone to do the work is intimidating. It’s more expensive than I’m used to since we used to just pay for the materials and he would do 95% […]
July Fourth
I missed my post last week because we took an extended 4th of July weekend. As tradition demands, we spent the early part of the day at my parents’ pool with friends. In the evening, my in-laws hosted their annual firework show. This is how we have tackled the 4th since before Tony died. It’s […]
Seasons of Change
And just like that, we say goodbye to June and hello to July. What a whirlwind of a month June was. I felt like I was holding on to the bumper of a car moving at 100 miles per hour. It was a month full of milestones, memories, and so so many emotions. Looking back […]