A friend of mine was going through a box of college memorabilia today. She sent me so many pictures of us from that time in our lives. It’s weird to look back on myself now.
That young goofy girl who always has her mouth wide open. She’s ready to be the life of every party. Living on her own, yet still wildly immature.
I feel so far from her now and the life she expected. So, I look back with what feels like jealousy. A web of choices still at her feet. She will pick the path that leads her to this spot. Which is why I feel more complex about looking backwards than just nostalgia for my twenties.
Those years set in motion the heartache that I live with today. The version of me that is wild and loud is quieter now. Motherhood impacted that first, but grief has done its fair share.
But as weird as it is to look back, I absolutely loved those four years of my life. And I will keep looking back and laughing anytime one of my sorority sisters finds another box of printed photos. Once upon a time, there was a girl who loved her life with wild abandon and her problems weren’t really problems at all. 
