An Open Letter to Friends and Family: So, dear friends and family, today is July 8, 2021, and I have made it through Year One relatively intact. I say it is relative because, as you well know, the seismic shift to my world that occurred when Lee died still reverberates. My world now is altered, […]
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Fourth of July Regrets
So here we are, the 10 year death anniversary just over one week away, and still, after all these years, I am left with holes in my memory about the last few weeks of life with Don Shepherd in it. I still don’t know if that is just how trauma works. I dont know if […]
My First Anniversary
Tomorrow will mark exactly one year since Lee died from pancreatic cancer. When I first agreed to contribute to this site last February, I said that these weekly musings were mostly for me. The statement remains true as far as it goes, but today my words also are intended as a tribute to my wonderful […]
Grief Triggers Grief
Hello all. Another crazy busy weekend for me that included a memorial service and luncheon for the loss of a dear family friend, a Red Sox/Yankees game today with my husband at Fenway Park , (my team got clobbered) and me writing up yet another offer for us on another house we have fallen in […]
No Cause For Celebration
You say it’s your birthdayIt’s my birthday too, yeah…— “Birthday” by The Beatles (1968) All I can recall about my 69th birthday is that Lee was dying and that she would be dead a few days later. June 27th will mark my 70th birthday. It is supposed to be a milestone birthday. Among royalty it […]
Missing our Papa on Father’s Day
What happens on Father’s Day for the family whose Papa has passed on to another dimension? Is there a way to connect from afar? When my dad passed away in 1994 I wondered, with my siblings, how we could live in a world where he was missing. Each child whose father–or special person–has passed on […]
Your Touch (edited 2021)
Touch has helped bring me further present. It has helped reawaken me to the moment I am living in. Touch has resuscitated me in ways that nothing else can. Touch has given me the air I need when I was struggling to breath life back into myself. For me, touch has been healing in a new a different ways.
Touch has brought me back in touch with my humanness. I have allowed myself to acknowledged that I am still alive. And, because I draw breathe, my skin still hungers for the touch of another human being. Touch in and of itself is just that. It is not love, but it is something. And, sometimes a nebulous thing is really a big deal.
Fathers Day Blues
I always seem to get the blues on Fathers Day. I dont know why. My own father is alive and well (well, he is 75 and is having the beginnings of some memory loss issues and physical issues but he is here and right now, he is mostly okay), and a pretty incredible dad. And […]
June 12th
June 12 is the date on which Lee and I got married. This year, as June 12 approached, I felt a bit uncomfortable at the thought that June 12 is our anniversary since Lee would not be here with me to celebrate it. Without her, I had no cause to celebrate June 12. With these […]
FIRST STEPS
Author’s Note: Thank you, Alison, for your warm welcome last week. You will be greatly missed here and I will join others in following you at http://anodysseyoflove.com/ to keep up with your adventures and new endeavors. Hope we meet up somewhere in the future. Thank you for sharing your love for Chuck so beautifully. xo~Kathie […]
Wanderlust Revisited
I need to see new things. And, also, see the same things – somewhere else. I need to stand on different street corners. And, walk roads that lead to new people and places. I need to breathe the air – somewhere else. Anywhere else. I feel like I am holding my breath, Living here in […]
Grief is WORK
Grief is time-consuming. Energy-consuming. Sometimes, it is all-consuming. Ok, so after the paperwork and ceremony of grief, there’s the therapy, the books, the support groups, etc. All hard work. But, then there’s this part that doesn’t feel like work necessarily, but it takes up all of your brain space and more importantly your TIME. Do […]