Written on 11 September 2021 Main image by Jesper Blijdestein on Unsplash 9/11. Nine-Eleven trips off the tongue. It means September 11th 2001. Even to Brits, who would otherwise say 11th of September (and write 11/9), there’s no misunderstanding what 9/11 means. Anyone over a certain again remembers what they were doing on 11th September […]
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Content
4.10 years later, I am content, happy and joy filled AND I continue to miss Mike. This is something I will do for the rest of my life. I miss him. I simply do. He was a wonderful person and I miss sharing my life with him. But, more than missing him, I am filled with a deep gratitude for what was between us. Mike loved me well and he changed my life with his love. His love was strong and true and big. He was everything that I ever wanted love to be. Mike made me a Fan Girl of Love and I get to keep all this. This stuff didn’t die with him. All of this is etched into my Soul. His love is in my bones, it is imprinted on my skin. I am strong on his love.
Grief in Boxes
About a year and a half ago, my husband Nick and I (he was then my boyfriend) moved into our apartment together. One day later, covid hit, and pandemic rules went into effect, making it almost impossible to shop for or receive furniture, bed, and other things we needed for our new place. Amazon became […]
The Pstihurism
For many, Labor Day marks the unofficial end of Summer, but here in the northern climes where I reside, this artificial demarcation is more a function of culture than weather. Despite the strong likelihood that we will enjoy at least several more weeks of hot daytime temps better suited for T-shirts and cut-offs, schoolboys in […]
Bittersweet
It is hard to imagine how the arrangements could have come off any better than they did. First, to my surprise, by the time I arrived at Deer Tick Manor on Thursday night in advance of our celebration of Lee’s life this past Saturday, the large party tent already had been erected on the lawn […]
Autumn Leaves
This week’s post will have to be short. I prepare to leave for Deer Tick Manor on Thursday night. On Friday I will help direct the setup for Saturday’s long overdue celebration of Lee’s life. I recently have spent more time attending to professional matters than at any time this Summer. And before I depart, […]
Marry Me (2021 version)
Now, today, August 20th, 2021 I no longer want to be the wife of a dead man. I want to live my life and my life no longer physically includes my dead fiance.
Life is for the living.
Mike died.
I did not; and I will be damned if his wife slowly dies here mourning him.
The best way I can honor Mike is to life a big, beautiful life. So, that is what I plan to do.
Hurricane Winds
So, right now, in Massachusetts, we are experiencing remnants and pieces of Hurricane Henri. Its just getting started, and we are set to have high winds and torrential downpours today and into Monday. If we get it as strong as they are saying we will, it will be the first storm categorized as a hurricane […]
Countdown
The final countdown is begun. On August 28 we will gather at Deer Tick Manor to celebrate Lee’s life. This pandemic-delayed event is long overdue. Our celebration will be held outside on the grounds, so it is full speed ahead despite the recent surge in Covid cases and despite Deer Tick being located firmly within […]
Remember Me
After living with the loss of Don Shepherd for an entire decade now, one thing is for certain that I never question or no longer worry about … I will never, ever forget him. I wont forget his crooked smile, or his enormous laugh that was sometimes 92% in his shoulders shaking like a small […]
The Dinner
My friends Bob and Linda are in town for the week. Bob is one of my oldest friends and a charter member of our imaginary rock group, The Frazier Thomas Band. Linda, Bob’s wife, who was Lee’s best friend, has become one of my best friends. Linda’s birthday was Tuesday. Bob and Linda planned to […]
Holding my Breath
Anytime I do anything in my life after loss that I never got to do with Don because he died – it gives me this nervous feeling in my gut. I get all shaky and nauseous and I feel faint and hot, like I might fall down. People always tell me “dont feel guilty for […]