So, everyone in my immediate family circle has now been vaccinated. (well, except my niece and nephew, because the vaccine hasnt been approved yet for kids under 16. But soon … ) Because of this, we are starting to plan more family events and gatherings, and slowly starting to get back to something a bit […]
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A Change Is Gonna Come
As I said last week, I am open to change in my life. I am going to start by working fewer hours as an attorney and expect this may open doors to new activities and people. After just one week, it’s still too early to report to you authoritatively, but I am feeling good about […]
Homeless
I have been homeless since April 27th when I moved from my house. I should feel out of sorts and unsettled; but, really, I don’t feel much different than usual. I guess over the last 4.5 years I have become used to living in a constant state of restlessness and uncertainty. Moving usually causes people to feel stressed; but, for me, the opposite has occurred. I feel calmer since I left my house. This whole process has really been a lot less anxiety provoking and emotional than I anticipated it would be.
Sleep Issues
Those of you who have been reading here and following me for a long time might know or remember that the two absolute worst things that happened in my life, both happened while I was asleep in my bed.They both jarred me awake – one with a constant ringing phone, and the other with the […]
The Last Trial?
For the past few weeks, I’ve been away from this blog to serve as the lead counsel for a team of defense lawyers in the first federal civil jury trial to take place in our District since the pandemic erupted more than a year ago. Since the last time I appeared in any courtroom, I’d […]
A Million Little Goodbyes
This week was emotional, in the way that probably only other widowed folks would totally understand. On the surface, a few little things happened that were somewhat sad. But in widow-land, all those things got amped up and took me back, at least in part, to the sudden death of my husband, and life in […]
April Snow
Today is April 16th. It is spring. Last weekend my husband and I were out rowing a boat on the lake and it was almost 80 degrees and gorgeous outside. There were butterflies and birds and deer and ducks and the humans were out on the water and spring and hope were in the air […]
Perspective by the Lake
So this week was my husband Nick’s 58th birthday. Because we havent really been out anywhere in so long because of the pandemic, I decided to book us a weekend getaway that is very covid-safe and socially distant. Through Airbnb, I booked us 2 nights at a lakefront cottage with private dock, and even comes […]
Trauma Lives
So, before I share my little story, let me say that everyone is totally fine and nothing bad actually happened to my wonderful husband Nick. He overslept. That is what happened. But because he overslept, he did not answer my calls or my voicemails or my three text messages that I left him, and because […]
Less is More
My worldly possessions feel heavy. They are housed in my home and chain me to a life that I no longer wish to participate in. I don’t give a shit about the stuff on my walls or the sofa across from me. It is all meaningless to me. What can it do for me? What does it do for anyone really?
Moving forward, I do not want things. What matters to me is the feel of things, not the actual things. I want to live a full and joy filled life that draws inspiration from experiences – not stuff. And, sure, it is true, I do like nice things; but material things do not fill my heart with happiness. In fact, my worldly possessions feel weighty to me. They feel like a burden to me. In the near future, I hope to travel and I do not want to have to worry about storing my things while I am gone. To me, more is less.
Decade
This July, on the 13th of that month, will mark the 10 year anniversary of Don Shepherd’s death. In 10 years, some things have not changed. It has not changed that I still hate using the word “anniversary” when talking about the worst day of my life, and when referencing the death of a human […]
Spring Forward
We in the Midwest are blessed to experience the Four Seasons, even if summer is too short, winter lasts about twice as long as it ought to, and spring is a rumor that most years shows up belatedly and lasts but a few short days. As I am jotting today’s entry, it’s currently about 33 […]