June 12 is the date on which Lee and I got married. This year, as June 12 approached, I felt a bit uncomfortable at the thought that June 12 is our anniversary since Lee would not be here with me to celebrate it. Without her, I had no cause to celebrate June 12. With these […]
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FIRST STEPS
Author’s Note: Thank you, Alison, for your warm welcome last week. You will be greatly missed here and I will join others in following you at http://anodysseyoflove.com/ to keep up with your adventures and new endeavors. Hope we meet up somewhere in the future. Thank you for sharing your love for Chuck so beautifully. xo~Kathie […]
Wanderlust Revisited
I need to see new things. And, also, see the same things – somewhere else. I need to stand on different street corners. And, walk roads that lead to new people and places. I need to breathe the air – somewhere else. Anywhere else. I feel like I am holding my breath, Living here in […]
Grief is WORK
Grief is time-consuming. Energy-consuming. Sometimes, it is all-consuming. Ok, so after the paperwork and ceremony of grief, there’s the therapy, the books, the support groups, etc. All hard work. But, then there’s this part that doesn’t feel like work necessarily, but it takes up all of your brain space and more importantly your TIME. Do […]
The Box (Part Two)
Lee kept her wedding box at the top of her closet, which I had been in the process of reclaiming from her when I found it. I say her wedding box because she was not keeping it for our mutual benefit. I did not know it existed. I opened the lid and looked inside the […]
Knock off Life
The problem is, I have no idea what or who will help me feel this Soul fulfillment that I long for. It has been 4.6 years since I have felt truly content and I do not know when a sense of peace will ever return to me.
Waiting….
Lately it feels as if my life is in a constant state of waiting. Waiting until my financial situation is finally/ever/slightly better before I can afford to buy myself necessary items x,y,and z… Waiting until the real estate market calms the hell down some so that we can maybe get one of our many offers […]
The Box (Part 1)
It was inevitable that I would start to reclaim for myself spaces we used to share, but then I procrastinate or stop short of finishing the task. Yes, it’s true that within hours of Lee’s death, in anger I had exorcised from our home numerous items, including the bottles and boxes containing her medicines, the […]
Widowed Words
I was chatting and messaging back and forth with some other widowed people in a Facebook Widowed Support Group for re-partnered and remarried widowed people this morning, and the topic came up about the term CHAPTER TWO. Some widowed people refer to their new partner after loss as their “chapter two.” Some people like this […]
Marry Me (2021 edition)
On May 25, 2016, he asked me to marry him. Then, he died before our wedding day. In 2018 when I originally wrote this, I sat re-reading those two sentences again and again and again. I just couldn’t seem to process the words the letters were forming. Now, nearly five years from the date, my […]
Last Friday
Hey Everyone! So today will be my last Friday Widows Voice post. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. I will still be writing here. I just cannot do Fridays anymore, due to my nutty work / multiple job schedule. Ive been fitting in my posts in between my morning and afternoon work shifts, which Im […]
Untitled and Off the Cuff
As many, if not most readers will know firsthand, grief shows up in myriad ways, often unexpectedly. I have been a widower for less than one year now, but already I have melted down driving home from the grocery store, reviewing tax documents with my accountant in her office, stumbling upon a dusty file or […]