So I was talking with a fellow widowed friend today, and we both came to the conclusion that most of us are probably anywhere from mildly to slightly to moderately depressed, since the pandemic began. The more time that goes by, the longer this goes on, the more time we each have where life is not normal – the more that depression sits in there and lingers, and not even fully consciously. I dont even think most of us are aware of it anymore, because we have just been so conditioned to this new covid way of life, this total or at least partial isolation, depending on your situation and how seriously you are taking this virus.
These days, I find myself looking forward to a game of Scrabble with my husband, or a cup of coffee at night, or a new show we discover on Netflix, because thats about as exciting as our life gets lately. The only people we really see on a semi-regular basis is my parents, because they live 5 minutes away, and they have been in our “covid bubble” the whole time. When we go over to their house, we wear masks, stay 6 feet apart, and often watch a sporting event or movie from their ginormous couch that is perfect for social distancing. We do errands rarely, and most things we get delivered. We have cancelled any trips we had planned, Valentines plans were cancelled, and we stayed home and spent time together and made a lovely porterhouse dinner. We are just doing our best to stay safe right now, and keep our families safe.
Nick was vaccinated yesterday through the V.A. since he is a veteran, and so I feel good that at least he is a bit more [protected right now than before. But realistically, it will still be at least a couple months or longer until most of us feel safe getting life back to normal again – being soclal, going out, traveling, on and on. And until those things happen, its hard not to feel depressed or hopeless. Its just really hard to go this long without hugging people or seeing friends or other things – its not normal. But its necessary, and I am thinking that once things are safer, so many of us are going to come out of this thing with such a new perspective on what matters. Of course, most of us reading this who are widowed already have that new perspective and would probably rather go back to being oblivious and having your person back. But since thats not a thing, I suppose we will come out of this with an even greater need for simplicity in life, at least thats how I feel. Theres not much I need these days – the people I love near me and safe is always number one. Other than that, something to be inspired by and something to keep me feeling passionate about life, and finding ways to help people. And maybe some yummy chocolate chip cookies.
