There is a lot happening in my life right now and that is an understatement. And, despite all the uncertainty, I am surprisingly calm. Friends of mine notice a calmness in my voice when we speak and they are right, I am very “chill” considering the enormity of the changes I am living through right […]
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Proud Widow
My husband Don and I were only married for 4 years and 9 months when he died suddenly from cardiac arrest. We were in the talking/planning/hoping/making changes stages of possibly having a family. We talked about moving out of NJ and into NY, or maybe even moving to Massachusetts so we could be closer to […]
The Gardener
Whether we were here at home or at Deer Tick Manor, friends and neighbors would drop by with their “green” questions for Lee or stop to solicit her recommendations about the best garden center while running errands on a weekend or ask her to provide the internet address of her reliable online supplier or identify […]
Almost “normal”…
I have been feeling almost like a “regular” person lately. What I mean is that I almost feel like I did before Mike died; and, for me, quite surprisingly, feeling normal doesn’t really feel normal at all. Feeling “normal”, in and of itself, is strange and unsettling for me because for so long I have […]
6 Offers, a Wedding, and an Easter Gathering
So, everyone in my immediate family circle has now been vaccinated. (well, except my niece and nephew, because the vaccine hasnt been approved yet for kids under 16. But soon … ) Because of this, we are starting to plan more family events and gatherings, and slowly starting to get back to something a bit […]
A Change Is Gonna Come
As I said last week, I am open to change in my life. I am going to start by working fewer hours as an attorney and expect this may open doors to new activities and people. After just one week, it’s still too early to report to you authoritatively, but I am feeling good about […]
Homeless
I have been homeless since April 27th when I moved from my house. I should feel out of sorts and unsettled; but, really, I don’t feel much different than usual. I guess over the last 4.5 years I have become used to living in a constant state of restlessness and uncertainty. Moving usually causes people to feel stressed; but, for me, the opposite has occurred. I feel calmer since I left my house. This whole process has really been a lot less anxiety provoking and emotional than I anticipated it would be.
Sleep Issues
Those of you who have been reading here and following me for a long time might know or remember that the two absolute worst things that happened in my life, both happened while I was asleep in my bed.They both jarred me awake – one with a constant ringing phone, and the other with the […]
The Last Trial?
For the past few weeks, I’ve been away from this blog to serve as the lead counsel for a team of defense lawyers in the first federal civil jury trial to take place in our District since the pandemic erupted more than a year ago. Since the last time I appeared in any courtroom, I’d […]
A Million Little Goodbyes
This week was emotional, in the way that probably only other widowed folks would totally understand. On the surface, a few little things happened that were somewhat sad. But in widow-land, all those things got amped up and took me back, at least in part, to the sudden death of my husband, and life in […]
April Snow
Today is April 16th. It is spring. Last weekend my husband and I were out rowing a boat on the lake and it was almost 80 degrees and gorgeous outside. There were butterflies and birds and deer and ducks and the humans were out on the water and spring and hope were in the air […]
Perspective by the Lake
So this week was my husband Nick’s 58th birthday. Because we havent really been out anywhere in so long because of the pandemic, I decided to book us a weekend getaway that is very covid-safe and socially distant. Through Airbnb, I booked us 2 nights at a lakefront cottage with private dock, and even comes […]