As a solo parent, every now and then I find my brain in the middle of a ‘what if’ spiral of paranoia. After the death of a partner, the mortality of ourselves and our loved ones lives closer to the surface. I know life can change in an instant. Friday night I found myself driving […]
Slideshow Selections
This is my last year having a kid in elementary school. Preparations have already begun for the year end celebration at the school. Our school hosts what they call the Fifth Grade Farewell. It’s a day of fun games and activities for the kids. At the end of the day, the kids, their teachers, and […]
What is in the Fridge
Last week I ordered a new refrigerator to replace the one Tony, and I purchased when our oldest was a toddler. It’s just an appliance, but that fridge has moved with us and been in my kitchen for about 14 years. Over the weekend I cleaned behind and under the old one. I found reminders […]
Valentine Kindness
This was my fourth Valentine’s Day without a Valentine. It was never a huge holiday for us but that doesn’t mean it’s not a reminder of grief. Seeing the advertisements still remind you that your partner is gone, even if you would never buy them whatever it is they are selling. It’s another small way […]
Haircuts and Control
The last few weeks I have been feeling anxious on a broad scale. We all know there is a limit to what we can control. The death of a loved one is a sharp reminder of that fact. To combat my anxiety, I have been taking steps to put my house in order. Doing what […]
Let Them
Last week I jumped on the bandwagon and listened to the book “The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins. I was intrigued after hearing a teaser online. Grief is usually the only self-help style book I pick up and finish. I downloaded the audiobook, set it at 1.4x speed and I was off to the […]
Simple Pleasures
Everyone is ready for January to be over. There are jokes online about how this month feels never ending. Record cold and snow for some of us, and devasting fires for others. It has not been a great month. However, I’m not ready to roll out the red carpet for February either. Halfway through that […]
Where Is Dad
Each year since Tony died, I have taken the kids on a vacation the week between Christmas and New Years. We’ve been to Disney World, Jamaica, Mexico, and this year I took the boys on their first ever cruise. I find myself counting these vacations to remember how many holidays he’s missed. Traveling over the […]
Weather Delays
I’m sorry, I missed my post last week. The kids and I traveled over the holiday break. We were supposed to be home Saturday night. As luck would have it, there was also ice and snow headed to our hometown Saturday. A few days earlier I moved our flight time up a few hours to […]
Christmas Superheroes
Today is Christmas Eve Eve. As a solo parent, who is prone to overprogramming there is so much to do with so little time. I found myself trying to do it all today. I wrapped up work for the holidays, grabbed last minute stocking candy, cleaned the house, cooked dinner, packed the kids for Christmas, […]
Friendship and Grief
Over the last week, I’ve been reflecting on friendship. When you lose your partner, often you also lose your best friend. Losing your best friend changes the dynamics of how you share information. There is no longer one person to call for everything. Throw in widow brain and you won’t even remember who you’ve told […]
Gearing Up for Christmas
I blinked and Thanksgiving was ages ago, and we are in the thick of Christmas. We’ve decorated the inside of the house, but I’ve made a few changes this year. It’s been so cold; I haven’t put up any outdoor decorations. At this point, I don’t think I will at all. I also didn’t put […]