Last weekend I got to spend time with one of Tony’s best guy friends. He was the best man at our wedding level bestie and someone we have both been friends with since high school. We don’t get to see each other often because life is busy when you each have 3 kids at home. […]
Dead People Everywhere
It’s easy to get caught up in our own losses and forget that death impacts everyone. You look around at the grocery store and think you are the only widow buying hamburgers you’ll probably burn again. At the Dr’s office, it’s easy to assume the rest of the dads are at work. On vacation, every […]
Making Lemonade
It’s been 2 weeks, and I have been a bad widow, off doing widow things with this widow brain of mine. Week 1 totally spaced the Monday blog duty. Week 2, forgot to email and ask for a repost since I was out of town. Bad widow brain. Right before school started, I took the […]
More Than Just Stuff
A few weeks ago, I wrote about a friendship that was falling apart. It escalated to the point that I have been unfriended on social media, and I am met with silence in public settings. Then I realized they had something of ours. I spent a lot of mental energy trying to figure out how […]
Redesigning Home
Recently I had the urge to make updates around the house. However, I lost my favorite handyman when I lost Tony. (Spoiler alert, it was him.) Hiring someone to do the work is intimidating. It’s more expensive than I’m used to since we used to just pay for the materials and he would do 95% […]
July Fourth
I missed my post last week because we took an extended 4th of July weekend. As tradition demands, we spent the early part of the day at my parents’ pool with friends. In the evening, my in-laws hosted their annual firework show. This is how we have tackled the 4th since before Tony died. It’s […]
Reminiscing Youth
A friend of mine was going through a box of college memorabilia today. She sent me so many pictures of us from that time in our lives. It’s weird to look back on myself now. That young goofy girl who always has her mouth wide open. She’s ready to be the life of every party. Living […]
Mysteries of the Future
In April, I started with a new therapist, and I’ve been seeing her consistently since our first session. Today we were discussing secondary losses towards the end of our session. Just as the bulk of my session was winding down, I hit on a new topic that was bigger than the 2 minutes we had […]
Enduring Silence
I lost a friendship I once valued, Who knows where the drift began. But you can’t make amends with silence, Although it’s not quiet like the dead. This silence breeds indifference, I refuse to accept the shrinking effects. I’ve already survived his death, This too, I will endure. I imagine they are hurting too, Missing […]
The Mundane
It feels weird to even write about this, but it was also weird to experience. In May, I found my checkbook down to the last few pages. We live in an age where checks are hardly used, so an order for a few books can last a very long time. I can’t tell you the […]
Party Hostess
Tony and I always loved opening our home and hosting friends. We hosted both large and small gatherings, finding joy in both kinds of camaraderie. Since his passing, I haven’t hosted as much as we used to. It’s hard to be a solo parent, juggling all that comes with that, and finding the time to […]
Friendship is an Honor
Saturday, I had the pleasure of catching up with two of my friends from college. One friend lives locally but we don’t see each other nearly often as we should. My other friend lives in a coastal city out east. I hadn’t seen her in 3 years, but they hadn’t seen each other in 10 […]