This was my fourth Valentine’s Day without a Valentine. It was never a huge holiday for us but that doesn’t mean it’s not a reminder of grief. Seeing the advertisements still remind you that your partner is gone, even if you would never buy them whatever it is they are selling. It’s another small way that grief never goes away.
To celebrate the occasion, I had my nail technician paint my nails black. (They go nicely with the dark sticker book I already bought.) I had a FaceTime chat with my long-distance bestie. Later that evening, a neighbor invited me over so I wouldn’t sit home alone.
On my way home, I grabbed the mail since an old coworker had texted to let me know there was a small package waiting for me. Ann Marie is one of those souls where kindness radiates from her and there is no doubt to its authenticity. Since the moment she learned of Tony’s passing she sprinkles love my way. I get Instagram reels from her that make me smile almost daily. A few times a year cards will appear in my mailbox with an encouraging note and sometimes a coupon to Old Navy.
Then there are days like Valentine’s Day, where this woman blows my socks off. First there was the card, in which she added notes to the cover and the sweetest note inside. A bracelet with a curse word inscription because she is sweet and sassy.
Finally, I find the gift cards to Popeye’s. Ann Marie remembered that was our Valentine’s Day tradition. Tony and I had that every year from the first year we started dating until his last. I haven’t been in a Popeye’s since. Now I have a little nudge to share some spicy friend chicken with my boys again.
For reference, I worked with and sat across from Ann Marie for a little over a year in total. That job was 12 years ago. I even was out on maternity leave with our youngest during that timeline.
It truly is surprising how people do and don’t show up during grief. Sometimes those extra nudges of love come from the most unexpected places. I often wonder how she grew to the empathetic human she is today. But I settle for knowing the world would is a kinder, gentler place with people like her in it.
