. . . it’s here again In trying to take stock of Valentine’s Day past, memory is fuzzy. Images come forward of our last V-Day together… Family room with hospital bed set up Candles Decorative hearts abound Did we eat? It seems a blip on the radar screen of a long goodbye with no clear […]
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Choosing Life – A Love Letter to Julia from Paula
Photo of Paula & Julia by a school friend I wake up to a firm ray of sunlight bursting through my dormitory window on July 2nd, 2019. I can’t wait to finally see my family after what feels like years. Suddenly, an inexplicable feeling of heaviness fills my chest, making it hard to get out […]
Recognized
When something tragic happens, everyone seems to know about it. You expect your core and extended people to know your story. I often forget how far-reaching bad news can be. How, in the age of social media and the internet it doesn’t take long for news to spread. It spreads far beyond what we even […]
Decades
Today is my parents wedding anniversary. 57 years together, so far. Today is also the anniversary of the day that Don Shepherd moved in with me, and packed up his life from Florida and left it to take a risk on a life with me, in New Jersey, just minutes outside NYC. He drove his […]
A gratitude post for those early days of grief.
A fellow widow and amazing writer (check out her newsletter!) inspired me this week to think and write about the ways I was supported in my early days of grief. I am definitely not a person who believes in forcing positivity or gratefulness in order to solve your problems, however, I think that a reflection […]
The Art of Celebrating a Life Well-Lived
Today my late husband Rich will celebrate a birthday in the Afterlife. I don’t know how birthday anniversaries are celebrated in that world, but down here I will be celebrating the occasion in a unique and personal way by participating in my first art event since I can’t even recall. Thinking June of 2019. As […]
Not Quite Arrived
By the time I exit the State of Missouri I’ve come to appreciate John Steinbeck’s astute observation, based on his own travels, that our country’s interstate highway system may be a fine solution for moving goods but it’s a lousy way to take in the countryside. Just past Joplin, Missouri, Interstate 40 crosses into the […]
Both/And
Both/And thinking [the opposite of either/or thinking] recognizes the folly of assuming that the new will totally supplant the old. Seeing with Both/And eyes recognizes that two opposite realities can be integrated. Adapted from Daniel Burrus at Burrus Research Today’s repost is certainly one worth sharing again! Today marks two months and two weeks since […]
What does hope look like for me now?
Image by precious widbud Charlotte MacNaughton – Yellowknife, Canada’s Northwest Territories (Jan 2023) Way back when, back in my life before, and soon after I had started up my business, Kaleidoscope Development, I wrote a blogpost on “Hope”. It was 21st April 2014. I actually called it, “Hope – Part One”, and a week later, […]
Cheering On Our Team
Yesterday was a big day for my city. In two weeks, my beloved Chiefs are headed back to the biggest football game. Like the week before, I gathered with my neighborhood crew to watch the game. If you didn’t watch, the game was a nailbiter. In the end, our team pulled through and across town […]
Old Dreams, New Dreams
Yesterday I met up for coffee with someone who may very well be a colleague as a fellow grief-counselor, to ask her some questions about doing this work and all the tiny details involved. We sat there, two strangers both affected and changed by loss in completely different ways (she is a Buddhist, a minister, […]
Getting Back
One of the biggest challenges of adjusting to life as a widow is trying to hold on to the memory of the life you had as part of a long-time couple while trying to remember the “Me” before “We”. In my case, recalling the latter is tied closely to the former. Last week I started […]